


Lies

by anartistbaby



Category: SF9 (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/M, Mild Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-07
Updated: 2020-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:26:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 46
Words: 26,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23049280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anartistbaby/pseuds/anartistbaby
Summary: We're all living in a world full of lies. It's a matter of choice if one wants to drown oneself in them, or not. (hiatus)
Relationships: Kim Youngbin/Reader, Kim Youngbin/Yoo Taeyang, Yoo Taeyang/Reader
Comments: 10
Kudos: 11





	1. Chapter 1

My life was perfect. Past tense.

"HEEEY!!!" He screamed really loudly, right in my ear I could've gotten an ear problem but I wasn't mad. The corners of my lips formed a smile as he planted a kiss on my cheek.

"So, how's class?" He always asked me the exact, same question every day, and I never got bored of it.

"How about we hit the mall today?"

I snickered, "Seriously."

We'd just literally finished school. I didn't want to risk ourselves looking like those pathetic lame high-school couple hanging around the mall thinking they're cool?

_I was always the toxic one in this relationship. My logic was never not morbid and it still is._

His eyebrows furrowed, sadness was all over his face, he even pouted. _Cute_. I felt bad. "I mean, in this?" I was pointing at my uniform, thinking he'd get it, but he didn't.

He grabbed my hand, kissed it, intertwining his fingers. Smooth as always.

"Just, come on!" He dragged me.

\----

How did we get together? _I still question that even today._

He loved volunteering in places like orphanages and nursing homes. So did I, and I belonged to the former before my parents took me. We started off by being friends, really good ones, until one day he said the word to me.

"You're gonna do this too even after high school?" I asked him as I took a spoon of my ice cream.

"Of course! And it's not just me," He snatched the spoon then put it into his mouth. "But _us_." I immediately choked, on ice cream. That's apparently possible.

"Y/N!!! Are you okay? Spit it out! Keep coughing!"

"What? No, I'm good."

"I'll get you some water," He stood up, but I grabbed the hem of his shirt pulling him back to his seat. "I said I'm good!"

"Really," He muttered in a low tone, more like sarcastic, he placed his palm on my forehead then cheek heating up my whole face. I wished I wasn't blushing too much, my heart was already beating crazily.

"Get your freaking hand off of my face. Come on." I cleared my throat, trying to work my brains, thinking about another topic to talk about—to stop myself from translating this moment into something it's not.

I randomly took my ice cream cup and began to eat it again. "Youngbin, listen. I.. I think you should focus on college. Because college is probably hard. You know. Haha." I chuckled awkwardly. What was I doing again? "Not to mention, Seoul is literally a hundred and a half miles away from here, so-"

He sighed. "You're right."

"I still haven't decided whether to leave or not. I've been considering enrolling to a uni here, because I know I'll miss my family, this place, and you."

"H-hold on there, you probably just worded it wrongly, the last word. It's cool. You won't miss me. You'll find better friends there. Tons of new friends. You're an amazing person."

"You have to chase your dreams! I know it's always been your dream to-"

I stopped—I was stopped by his lips, all of a sudden he's kissing me, making my eyes widened to a maximum size. He finally pulled away after a few _deadly_ seconds. Blinking rapidly, I was contemplating about how to react, afraid I'd look unnecessarily too happy or too angry. Both sucks. "Um.." The only thing that could come out from my mouth.

"Sorry. I'm really sorry... I-"

"It's okay." I responded hastily, probably reckless because it didn't seem to be the proper answer to this, I didn't know what's proper. "Actually, I've been wanting to tell you something." He scratched the back of his head. My mind counted that the possibility of him saying something about the kiss, was like only 10%, meanwhile the remaining was most likely related to his college application.

"I like you. A lot."

"Yes, chase your dreams because-"

"What." I shook my head.

"Listen, I can just think that.. _that_ didn't happen so get to the real thing."

He cupped my face and pressed his lips against my lips again, briefly, before staring right into my eyes. Something in his eyes was pulling me into him. "This is the real thing." He muttered.

Slow but sure, my hands were already on his cheeks. I was kissing him too.

"Thank you." He whispered in the middle of our kisses.


	2. Chapter 2

" _Shit_."

You know that feeling when you're used to ride a 3-wheeled bike for years already, but suddenly, it's changed into a 1-wheeled bike?

That sums up my life, pretty much.

\----

I know I'm late today but like what grandma always said, one needs to seize every opportunity possible, even if it seems impossible.

"You know what time it is, Miss?"

"I apologize, Professor. I was-"

"Never mind."

"Thank you." I walk in like I did nothing wrong.

"Please close the door."

"Oh, right."

"From the outside."

Wrong usage of grandma's motto.

I slept late last night I didn't know what time. I've been working over time because grandma's birthday is coming up really soon. I also love collecting money. The former is a lie only the latter is the truth.

She's going to be so mad if she finds out.

\----

I'm free until the next 4 hours and I'm hungry as fuck. The cafeteria in my faculty hasn't opened yet in this hour. So I had to ask some random students here about which cafeteria I can go to, and lucky me, there's one.

I was informed that there's going to be quite a view there, not shocking because it's the Faculty of Arts', and before the first class ends, the queue is also going to be super long and annoying.

Assuming the interior is full of paintings and stuff, and the food is so good, something actually doesn't go wrong today, I'm thrilled.

\----

I was scammed.

The interior is exactly the same with my faculty's, also the menu.

"Wow, you're early." The cashier randomly blurts in a crispy but low tone as if he knew me, without actually looking at me, he's busy doing his thing with the cashier machine.

He snickers.

"Excuse me?"

He smirks.

Is it their way to start a conversation with their customer? This place is weird. _Or, this person is weird._

"Have we met before?" I finally ask him.

"So, what can I help you with?" His voice is rather unique. No, it's weird—crispy. I thought it's only when he's messing with other people but apparently, his normal voice is crispy.

"1 iced vanilla milk and.. that's it. I'll order again later."

"Oh you're staying." His tone is really annoying. I'm not in the mood to joke with anyone. I just got kicked out of the class I could eat you.

"You have a problem with that?"

He's still smirking and it's getting bigger, I can see his teeth. He's got some pretty teeth but questionable attitude. _I pity_.

"Here's your milk.

I roll my eyes, grabbing the milk. "Thanks. _Weirdo_." I'm sure I mumbled the last one.

\----

Just an hour later or two, a bunch of girls have already been lining up in front of that weird cashier's desk, while I was busy watching a series about a zombie that cooked brains like an actual chef and it looked delicious. I should've lined up earlier, but never mind, the episodes I watched were worth it.

Now I'm in a serious need of food.

So I stand at the back of those girls and begin to feel like my stomach is about to release all its contents through my mouth.

They're doing really disgusting things in front of the cashier guy. They literally swirl their hair, puff their cheeks, smile worryingly, as they're thinking about what to order, I guess. Each takes at least 10 mins just to say their order.

\----

"Eh, you."

"What."

"You're that early customer."

"2 chicken burgers and 2 fries, large."

"With a really big appetite."

"Shut up, I had to stand for like 2 hours and I have class in precisely 5 mins."

"Why are you still here?"

"Great question, now stop wasting my time."

Scanning the whole cafeteria while they're still preparing for my orders, I wonder, how can a cafeteria that looks exactly like other faculties' with the same menu and similar taste has this much of customers? One needs to line up for 2 fucking hours just to order.

The tea about the line up being super long and annoying, is valid. But not the view. I was half scammed.

"Your order is ready."

I hand him my card, and while he's scanning it with the cashier machine, I'm hearing noises—giggles. The sea of girls is giggling over someone typing things in a cashier machine? What a weird fetish.

"Do you realize that these people line up for 2 hours or more just for this view?" I draw an invisible circle using my palms in front of him and the machine to highlight the _this_ part.

He chuckles.

"Ugh, you know that too well. It explains the constant irrelevant smirk you always have on your face."

"You're basically describing yourself."

"What."

"You came here, just for this view." He's copying my invisible circle. I'm gonna puke.

"Fuck you."


	3. Chapter 3

I had a really amazing family. Mom, dad, grandma, and me. I might be a foster child, but the overflowing love they gave me made me feel like there's no such things as foster or biological child, I was their child. But after high school, they're taken away from me forever, leaving me with grandma. It was a huge blow for the younger me. Having to live my life without them, was, confusing.

\----

My boyfriend never missed to call me every day, right after he woke up and when he's about to go to bed. Sometimes, also when he's having lunch. He went to his dream university in Seoul and still made efforts to spend some of time for the _unworthy_ me.

He loved telling me about various things, mostly about his day, as if making sure I wouldn't think about our distance. He's that nice and nothing's wrong with it.

_But something's definitely wrong with me._

"So I just submitted the paper I told you last night without too much thinking because I was afraid the professor wouldn't want to accept it anymore. Can you believe it?" He suddenly laughed, by himself.

"Y/n? You there?"

"Mmm."

"Anyways, congratulations on your graduation!"

"Y/n?"

"Thanks."

"You okay? You don't sound okay?"

I needed to find a more depressed word than "not okay", but my mind was blank, I couldn't think of one. Tears began to roam my cheeks for no reason. There were way too many things to cry about that I couldn't think of one.

"Y/n, what happened? Is it bad?"

"I guess it is bad.."

"You know you can tell me everything."

I didn't want him to listen to me crying, although, something in me still wanted to continue hearing his voice, but it's better not to, not in this state. "I'm hanging up." I told him.

"Okay, I love you."

\----

After several tiring, bad quality calls between us, one day, someone rang the bell of my house. It's him. He's home.

"Surprise~!" He held my cheeks, leaning in to kiss me on the lips, but I grabbed his hands away from my face, gently. He flinched.

"I'm... sorry." He's scratching the back of his head. "You okay? You feeling unwell somewhere?" I'd grown hatred for the word _are you okay._ I was morbid.

"Are you mad? Sorry I didn't tell you I was coming. I wanted to surprise you... I missed you so much."

I gathered all the courage I had left to drag him outside. "I need to talk to you."

"Uh, thank God. You're finally talking to me."

\----

"I can't do this anymore."

"Uh okay, great! Let's go... to... that café?" He's pointing to places around my neighborhood. "Or that restaurant? Coffee shop?"

"Do you want to take a stroll, by car, perhaps? Just like the old days? I brought the black one and there's this cute doll hung around the steer I told you the other day. You should see it! It's-"

"No, I'm talking about us."

"Huh? Yeah, me too?"

He's making it harder than it already was. It's upsetting. I was so near to, again, postpone it. I couldn't tell if he's playing dumb but he always had his way.

"Never mind, forget it. I gotta go. I have shift."

"You're working?" He blinked many times. I never told him I signed up for a job—some jobs to be exact.

"I'll drop you there." He said.


	4. Chapter 4

"Let's break up." Out of nowhere, I finally said the word. I'd been feeling dragged by a lot of things and I'd had enough. I thought I could release at least one weight off by breaking up with him.

"Huh?" His eyebrows furrowed. I was planning to be poured by his anger, but he suddenly pulled me into a hug, squeezing my body. He's always the soft-hearted Youngbin I'd never deserve.

"Did something happen at work? You know you can tell me everything." My eyes began to slowly close, feeling the warmth of his body, but the thought of me being such an annoying girlfriend for him all this time and soon in the future, halted me. "I mean it. I want to break up with you."

"Stop saying that. Please, tell me if I did something wrong. Did I contact you too seldom? I'm sorry I-" He deserved better, and "better" was just, not me.

"Youngbin." I bit my bottom lip, trying so hard to hold myself together. "Thank you for everything. Thank you for loving me. But things are just not like how they used to be." I was talking to him but I wasn't looking at him—I couldn't. "We can't continue doing this."

"If this is some kind of early April mop or something, please stop. This isn't funny."

"I'm serious. Stop making this even harder, please. I'm begging you."

"If it is hard, then why are you still doing it? Stop. We can work everything out, together." His eyes were red. He's crying. And there would've been even more tears if we insisted to stay together.

"I just... shouldn't have the luxury to continue going out with you."

"Luxury? What in the world are you talking about?" He twitched his whole face for a brief second. He's frustrated.

"Are you seeing someone else?"

"No!" I blurted so fast, in reflex. "I mean, yes, whatever."

_I would never cheat on you._

"I knew it. Then you're stuck with me. Accept it."

The memories of me not answering his calls, his texts, constantly making him think his phone was broken that he changed it, _twice_ , popped up. Tears flooded my eyes.

"What's up? Say something." He cupped my face, making all the tears fall on my cheeks, and as he wiped them, he whispered, "I hope you know that I'm always willing to be with you, whether it's good or bad, because I love you." He's talking really slowly, I shivered, afraid my heart would take control and ruin the plan.

"Please, just tell me. We can figure it out together."

"I... I've made up my mind. I want to break up with you."

"Listen. It's alright, we're still adjusting because of our distance. It's normal."

"We're good for years already. Don't you wonder why it's weird lately? It's not about adjusting. Something-"

"I never felt weird about any of it. We're being normal. That's relationship."

"Something is wrong with me."

"Then let's make it right together!"

"I've changed. I don't feel the same as I used to. I said it. We need to break up."

"Look at me and say that again." He held my shoulders—his grab was dense, but he's not squeezing me. He's trying not to hurt me.

_You always strived not to hurt me, but I never bothered to do the same. I_ _didn't deserve you._

Clenching my fist to hold all my unnecessary emotions in, I sucked my lips and began to look at him, straight in his eyes.

"I want to break up with you."

He twitched his face, furrowing his eyebrows. Something didn't click, but he knew he shouldn't keep pushing this forward. "Alright!" He sounded worked up. "You want a break up? You'll get it. But you have to promise me one thing." His lips were slightly trembling.

"Give me 3 seconds." He placed his palms on my cheeks and started to lean in, rising the rate of my heartbeat rapidly. I had to mentally yell at myself that I needed to avoid him.

"No." I whispered.

"Please. Just 3 seconds."

\----

He began to brush his lips against mine, weakened all over my body. _This is bad_. I found myself lingered my hands around his neck and responded to his kiss. No matter how much I denied it, I still loved him, and after more than 3 seconds, none of us actually pulled away.

But yet, our relationship ended.


	5. Chapter 5

"Grandma, I'm home!!!" Dropping my bag on the couch, I scan the entire house looking for grandma and find her sitting in front of our dining table. She's rubbing something white and furry—cat? Grandma took a cat??? My eyes widen twice if not thrice their size.

"Y/n, Taeyang doesn't want to do anything at all. It's been hours already. Can you please check him for me?"

Taeyang? It's gotten a name already???

"Where did you take it? What if it's someone else's cat? We're going to be sued!! No, I don't want to be in a jail, how much shall we pay to win a case? How did you know it's a he?" I spout mostly nonsense and a little bit of quality sentences in panic.

"Sweetheart, he didn't have any necklace. Grandma checked." She sounds rather sad, not because of my stupid ramblings, she's used to them, but there's probably something wrong with the cat.

Grandma isn't the type that loves these creatures because of their cuteness only. She tries to relate to them in a spiritual level that she feels what they feel, and this time the creature seems sick, it's written all over her face.

I hate animals, but looking at how passionate she is about them, I always end up doing whatever she wants. "Alright, I'll take _it_. Let me change first."

"Taeyang."

"Yes, Taeyang."

"Take Grandma with you."

"No!"

"Please..."

"Have you eaten dinner?" She nods.

"Medicine 1, 2, 3?" She nods.

"Alright. 5 minutes."

\----

There's this clinic that has been operating for quite some time already, it's a big place with some fancy exterior, so I assume the service is great. We may not be blessed with a lot of money but I always strive to provide the best of the best for my grandma, the same goes with her, and that's the blessings my precious family have.

"Wow you're following me."

"What?" I look up, noticing it's the _weirdo_ from the cafeteria earlier. He seems to be working here. I respect the spirit.

"You're fucking everywhere."

"No, I'm actually working here and I'm doing a really good job."

"Uh, great." I respond with a flat tone, flat face and squinted eyes, he makes me recalling how bad my first impression about him was. If I try to be positive, it's possible that he's just having a hard time coping with his stressful shifts. But still.

"Are you always this sarcastic?"

"Depending on the person I interact with."

Rolling his eyes, he's annoyed, but the sight is familiar to me and it's satisfying. Part of me doesn't want to be mean to fellow high-spirited money-seekers. But for this weirdo, I'll let myself be a little happy knowing that the world is still rolling and that karma exists.

"You know, this feeling was exactly what I felt every time I interacted with you. Can we skip to the part when you ask me can I help you?"

"Whatever."

"Don't you see the thing in my hands? It's sick."

His eyes widen. "You don't seem like a cat person, give him to your neighbor."

"True, but why do I feel offended with that? Take that back. This is my pet whether you like it or not."

"How is Taeyang? Is he sick?" Grandma is suddenly standing right beside me. She can be particularly stubborn and impatient sometimes when it's about her loved ones—some of her many awesome qualities.

"Grandma, I told you to wait there, I'll take-"

"Wow, you're that obsessed." Says the fucking cashier with his crispy voice. I glare at him, "How dare you mock my grandma." I take my respect back. This _scumbag_ doesn't deserve to be respected.

"No, you. You named your cat after me. You followed me in campus. God, I have to be careful, you'll follow me on my way home today."

I burst into laughter, but I make efforts to cover it with my palm. I'm super mad, but also embarrassed because he's so embarrassing?! If I were him, I would never go out to the society. I would be antisocial. I'd prefer if the earth wants to swallow me because that attitude must've put him in so many different embarrassing situations he doesn't realize.

"You always seize every opportunity to tell people your name?"

"You have a prince syndrome and there's no cure for that. I pity."

"Listen, my grandma picked that name herself, we didn't know you're called Taeyang and why am I explaining this to you? I don't care about your opinion." I shake my head rapidly, regretting that I should be saying those in my head first before saying them out loud. I sounded like a fool, that I am, but I had the option not to. "Whatever. Where's the doctor?"

\----

"Miss y/n, put this in Taeyang-" He chuckles by himself. _Ew_. "Taeyang's food twice a day, and give him lots of water. Bring him here after 3 days if he still doesn't want to move."

"And here's our name card, for emergency."

"Wait, why does this also list your contact? Yoo Taeyang is you, right? I can't believe your syndrome is this severe. No one would ever-"

"Because I'm majoring in veterinary?"

"Why were you in Arts' cafeteria? I mean, never mind, not my business. Bye."


	6. Chapter 6

It's the first day of English class, I sit on the most back row with ear sets on and a few episodes of a superhero series ready to play. I assume that for one class, 3-4 episodes is enough, and I have 10 today. I'm that resourceful. One of the best proven ways to learning English is watching movies, right?

"Get off of my seat!"

"You look smart, sit on the front!"

"This is my seat! I signed this yesterday. Look."

"Do you have ears? Move aside!"

"Are you deaf? I'm dumber than you, move to the side or the front!"

Class goes chaos over who looks smart and who doesn't for perhaps seats. I already set my volume to its maximum level that I got warned by my phone, yet I still hear these losers, and not long after that, I'm starting to have trouble hearing what my beloved zombie is saying. Letting out a sigh, I look up. I'm seeing a bunch girls fighting over seats, mostly in the middle rows, and for some reason half look and sound annoyingly familiar.

"He's Pisces, he won't sit in the front or the back. Middle it is."

"But he's Gryffindor, he loves challenges, he'll most likely sit in the front."

"He's not Gryffindor, get your facts straight!"

"He's Slytherin."

"What? He's Hufflepuff."

"No, you're all wrong. I know his house but I won't tell anyone."

"For real??"

"Spill it sis!"

"SIS!!!"

It's fascinating that those sitting calmly right now are only guys and me. _Am I probably a guy?_ A conspiracy. I wonder how breathtaking the lecturer could be.

Apparently, it's not the lecturer.

The class has started for like 30 seconds when someone suddenly starts knocking the door, and walks in. Just like that.

"Over here."

"I saved this for you."

"Hey, here, I don't bite."

They're actually whispering, I respect their efforts, but since there are like 50 of them, so they sound, loud. Forget about the girls, the lecturer is fine with this. This is discrimination! I had to close the door _from the outside_ when I was in his shoes. What a sexist educational institution.

"Yoo Taeyang, you can sit here."

"No! Here."

"Don't listen to her."

"Here."

Restlessness overwhelms me-I'm irritated that regrets always come too late. There were like 5 options for English class, but why did I choose this? I should've known this kind of shit exists. It's not that I'm worried about my study, but my superhero series binge-watching activity.

\----

The weirdo has been staring at me ever since he made a scene as he entered the class. I look around, left, right, but there's nobody. I'm betting my 5 cents that he aims to mess my first day with this. Just thinking about what those girls will possibly do to me, knowing how in love they are with him that they willingly struggled to increase their probabilities of sitting with him, already gives me shiver.

If something happens to me I'll do worse to you, you _stupid self-absorbed motherfucking_ _weirdo_ with beautiful teeth. I added a positive line in the end of such a negative title as I'm actually kindhearted, and a little attracted to his smile, _no_. I press my eyes brushing the stupid thought off.

\----

"I'm gonna sit with my girlfriend." I tilt my head to the side, in major disbelief. I believe I'm seeing him mouthing that to some of the girls while walking to my row. Why me?

Here comes trouble.

Glaring at him with both corners of my mouth twitching upwards, eyes slightly squinting, my entire face looks like a psychopath. I'm making sure he knows I don't welcome him. What if those girls sit on me after class?—in a negative, destructive, non pleasuring way. "You're gonna sit with your girlfriend? Where the fuck is she?" I kinda sing that, in major annoyance.

He forces a smile and continues walking to me, taking the seat right beside me. "Just go with the scenario." He whispers with almost no sound produced but I still weirdly manage to hear him.

"What scenario?"

"Come on."

"Fuck, no. What will I get from this."

"Anything."

"Ok, engaged."

"I'll do anything you want. Just help me, please."

"The Yoo Taeyang is hopeless."

"Vet clinic, free."

"Wow."

"It's comfortable to chill, you can even sleep there." I glare at him, still with the previous psychopath look. " _Ew_ , no."

"I hired some regular cleaning service. They're good." Realizing that I'm still glaring, eyes riffling from his head to his toe, he starts blinking rapidly. "Of course you sleep there _yourself_. I have my own place." He doesn't need to emphasize the yourself part, honestly.

"You should check yourself in hospital sometimes. Your sense of comprehension is so low. It could be your brains."

\----

"You mocked me." I scoot to the side, furthering myself from him. This is cancelled.

"Fuck, sorry."

"You cursed."

"I was just trying to be more identical to you."


	7. Chapter 7

"I'll let that one slide. When will this end?"

"TBA."

What kind of lame person would agree to such questionable deals? Me, sadly.

\----

"Listen. There must be some do's and don'ts in this. I'm tired of being overworked by you."

"Dumbhead, it's a lot of work. Just don't become those girls. That's the don't."

"Well I do have some boundaries you can't pass. You can't suddenly call me when I'm working my shifts and my duty as a grandchild and a die-hard enthusiast of superhero series. Thank you."

He rolls his eyes.

We're both in cafeteria, not sitting calmly or perhaps lovingly in front of the customer's table. I'm helping this scumbag doing his shift, as he thought this would be a great movement to lower the number of the sea of girls, but he's so wrong. The girls have doubled, if not tripled in amount because they're curious with the current tea spreading about The Yoo Taeyang having a girlfriend.

Some of them acted like I was not there, and it's fine for me. I've been standing beside Taeyang, helping him take people's food from the kitchen then hand it to them.

Until the weird ones started to appear.

\----

I place the tray in front of the customer.

"Here's your order."

She takes her coke and suddenly drops it on the floor. "I demand a new one." _This is insanely hilarious._ I cover my mouth with my palm, preventing myself from laughing too publicly. I thought I was skeptical thinking that these people, willingly lining up for 2 hours, taking at least 15 mins in total to order, must be literal dumb and dumber, and I was right. _I was one of them, I know. But it's different._ How is dropping your order by yourself, not dumb?

Curious with how he reacts to this, I turn to him, expecting something fun, but he looks dumbfounded, staring at the poor dropped can on the floor instead. I can relate to him, I pity the can too. He suddenly shakes his head, pulling himself together, getting ready to probably talk it out with the dumb girl. _No._ Before he walks past me, I block him, he coughs, "Free vet clinic." _Jee_ z, he keeps repeating the same thing these days that it gets old.

"Dumb gi-" I suck my lips, stopping myself because I love free stuff. Putting on a smiling face I usually have for some of my part-time shifts, I sing, "Hey, I'm sorry for that. You want a new one? You'll get it." I sound like a kind, soft waitress. "But, I'm sad to inform you that you have to line up again for that." Her eyes widen by a lot. "Oh my God, why? Because you dropped it after taking it from the tray, _yourself_. Have a nice day!" I force a smile but it quickly fades. "Next."


	8. Chapter 8

It's probably been 10 or 15 customers only but I've already run out of patience. They're super annoying, slow, and similar. It's repetitive. No one likes watching repetitive things. This hurts my dignity as a die-hard high quality tv series enthusiast.

Someone's standing in front of us, possibly thinking about what to order, or what to do to get the cashier's attention, for 7 mins straight and still counting while playing with her hair.

Does he really have to deal with these shits every day? Time is money. I aim to at least get dozens shifts a week to feed myself, Grandma, and Taeyang—the cat—yet I still most of the time fail to reach my goal. How about him? He's not gonna waste his entire youth here, isn't he?

"When does this usually end?" I ask him.

"Around 8 pm, I leave on 6, though, for clinic."

"That's more than normal part-time hours. They pay you a lot? If not then that's such a labor abuse."

"I don't do this for money."

"What."

"Look at my apron. This belongs to a friend."

"Then fuck it, let's leave this place."

"No. I have to do this."

"Hyun." I'm reading the name written on his apron. Okay, who?

"She's a friend."

"Oh, a significant other. You're actually human, I'm impressed."

"No, whatever."

Honestly, that's cute? He's trying to help a friend or his girlfriend. I'll help him and that Hyun to get through this.

\----

"This guy will grow tired of your hair if you're taking so long here. Think about it."

"Guys grow bored of things so quickly. You better believe me."

"Listen, you can just come again tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day, to get his attention."

"You got a really beautiful hair. Did you bleach it? It's such a waste if he gets bored of it."

"You're so pretty! Quick say your order and come again tomorrow. He's tired because of other slow girls previously."

"Look at his face! How small, it's because his shifts are so tiring."

"Look at his hands!"

Some of the girls actually bought my stupid ramblings and ordered for only 2 mins or less. Perhaps being his "girlfriend" did make me seem reliable, like a _sunbae_. It's 3 pm but we're already closed because the stocks for today are all sold out.

"You know I think I don't have to come again tomorrow because I have brainwashed at least 70% of your girls to stop being themselves—I mean slow."

"You always manage to find your way out of everything, don't you?"

"Thanks for the compliment. I was trained by the professionals, they're cool, and by they I meant me."

\----

_"I know your heart doesn't want this, but congratulations, you just got it. I'll stop bothering you. See you on the day when you choose to be honest with your own heart."_


	9. Chapter 9

"Grandma!"

"Y/n's friend!"

"Meh, not really." I mumble.

We've come to an agreement of going to my house to pick up Grandma, because he wants to payback my deeds in the cafeteria, I guess—he's being quite vague about it so I'm not sure.

====

"I still have plenty of hours."

I was busy checking the episodes I downloaded using Arts' Wi-Fi. Thankfully, this place had at least one good thing for someone like me.

"I said, I still have plenty of hours." He sang.

"You can stop bragging now."

"No, I mean you can-" He stopped.

"What?"

"You can... get your first wish today. I rarely have free time, just saying."

"Said someone who fills his girlfriend, I mean someone else's shift voluntarily, every fucking day." I sighed. "How many wishes are there by the way?"

He rolled his eyes.

"You need to stop doing that with your eyes. If you hate your eyes you can donate them to other people."

"Or, me, I can sell them."

He rolled his eyes again.

"How did you go to campus today? Bus? Car?"

"Car. You want it?"

"What?" I looked up to him, furrowing my eyebrows thinking that there's no way he's serious about this, but he looked serious. He seemed to have plenty of experiences in it? It's possible that he's used to have dozens or hundreds of girls he tricked into acting as his fake girlfriends, or wives, then each asked for his car.

"You really give your car away to others?" He nodded. _Crazy_.

"Why?"

"Why not?"

"Right, forget it. This talk really hurts my dignity as someone who works her ass off and plans her financial for 30 years ahead."

"I also work."

"Cool. I'm going home."

"Alright, I'll drive you."

"What?"

"I said I'll drive you," He's talking slowly. "I will... drive.... you." He's talking even slower and still looking serious about it. _I can't believe this guy._

"I know what you said."

"Good, let's go."

"Just saying, but I hate asking people to do things for me. I only used to tricking them into doing it. So, will you lend your car for my grandma? You're driving."

"You want to take your grandma out?"

"Yea yea, I bet you won't understand this, scumbag that gives his cars away to random people, but strolling the streets by car is fun."

 _And cheap_.

====

"You both even look similar. People-"

"Grandma, let's go to the optics, your minus has increased."

"I haven't finished talking. What did I tell you about cutting other people's talk?" She squints at me. _He laughs._

"People who look similar tend to match each other so well. They move similarly and work well with each other. Grandma tells you, Grandma is always right."

"Right?" She's still asking for confirmation.

"Right, haha." I chuckle awkwardly.

"Actually... we are together."

"OH?" Her eyes widen twice their original size. Just why did he think he have to say that? He's feeling this _shit_ too much.

She loves it so much. The idea of me getting a boyfriend, or husband, or pet-not that I think boyfriend and husband are the same thing with pet. Forget it.

"Like boyfriend and girlfriend?" She, _again_ , asks for confirmation.

He nods.

That startled me.

"Here, too??" I give him a side-eye.

This thing between us is really questionable. How am I supposed to sue scumbag if something goes wrong? One thing for sure, I don't need to hide anything from Grandma.

"Fake boyfriend, Grandma. That's it."

"Still a boyfriend." Her note is rather high, she's loving this too much.

"This is a win-win agreement. So, we can do anything in his clinic, in case Taeyang gets sick or something, for free."

"Taeyang the cat, not you."

"I know, I'm not you. _Dumbhead_." He whispers the last one.

"Language." I grumble.

Grandma chuckles.

"It hasn't even been 1 minute." She adds.

"And we can sleep there if we're bored of this house. He's the one who said that himself."

"Yes, feel free." He nods by himself. "Actually, I still have extra rooms in my apartment if you need-"

"How can you say that so casually? What if we rob your place, sell your assets? Poison you??"

He twitches his entire face, glaring at me, "You watched too many weird movies. You're ready? Let's go."


	10. Chapter 10

"I never saw you two together, other than in class, and here. Are you fake? Maybe cousins?" One of his girls asks us things irrelevant to the cafeteria today. She's a first.

"No, I'd rather have a cat as my cousin." I blurt.

"Do cousins do this?" He holds my hand and raises it to her eyesight level.

"They do."

"This?" He intertwines his fingers with my fingers. _Is he 5?_ If he wants to prove how legit we are, it's better not to show anything, chill. Isn't it a simple logic? He's being ridiculous and yet she doesn't look satisfied.

"I can do more." He adds.

I hate where this is going.

"Listen, whether we're real or fake, that's none of your business."

Stepping closer to him, I whisper, right into his stupid ear, "Stop being so competitive. I know boxing." _No, I only used to watch someone do that, on movies_. I position myself close enough to him as if it's an intimate talk, or I'm kissing his ear—even the thought already gives me shivers.

\----

"Here's your order."

She takes the tray, mumbling, "They're cousins, I knew it." She doesn't know how to give up and accept the reality. Although fake, but it's the current reality. She's just another dumber but I respect her persistence.

Besides, how are we cousins?

I take a step to the side, furthering myself from scumbag for the sake of my safety and sanity.

_\----_

_Someone needs to hire me as their personal advisor or something. I'm such a psychic_.

\----

I and Taeyang are currently walking side by side to the parking lot. It's become a habit that he drives me after class or cafeteria these days, as we're always closing early, and he's such a gentleman—he just got nothing better to do until his clinic.

"Taeyang!" A random girl calls him from afar, she's alone, and she's running to this side. "Oh God." He mutters. "Do you want to..." I was about to say _run_ , but he suddenly corners me to the wall. His face is getting too close and his palm is blocking my way from the side. "Watch where you're going, scumbag." I grumble. He leans into my ear, whispering, "Help me, please. This is an emergency." My heartbeat is increasing rapidly. He shouldn't have said the word emergency. I'm terrified, too.

_Am I terrified of the thing he's talking about, or the thing he's allegedly about to do?_

Seeing his eyes drift to my lips, his lips already begin to part, I clench my fist, scared, realizing that he's not gonna do this in Teddy Bear's way. He's moving closer to my lips, that every time he releases his breath I feel it on my face. This is really heading to what I've predicted. I'm gonna share a kiss with a scumbag.

"Yoo Taeyang!!" The random girl screams, and the scream leads him to directly slam my lips, with his lips, and he doesn't stop on that. He grazes my lips, jolting my whole body, blood rushing from my feet to my head. My hand grabs his shoulder in reflex, breaking the contact, my other hand raises, as if about to slap him but he puts his palm on it instead, intertwining his fingers. He stares at me straight in the eyes.

_You got a pair of beautiful eyes. Stop bragging._

They're lying when they said God didn't have his favorites. Your features are all, well-placed. _I hate this._ He squeezes my hand, bringing me back to the reality. No, he's asking for help. He immediately grazes my lips again but only once then pulled away. He's not less terrified than me, I presume.

The thought of him being terrorized by the sea of girls pops into my mind. Shameless girls who consciously drop their things then ask for replaces from him, invading his privacy for more than 8 hours, making him have to waste his whole day for nothing, thinking they worship him when they actually slave him.

My thumb rubs his shoulder gently, I let my palm rests on the back of his neck. Since I have agreed to this, I have to do it right. His eyes slightly widen seeing I lock my eyes on his lips, but he immediately act like it's nothing. Our lips are only one breath away from each other when I stop, hearing someone sobbing.


	11. Chapter 11

The sobbing girl was his cousin from his mom, somehow they're not related by blood, but they grew up together. He cared a lot about her as a cousin. He thought it's such a nightmare that she's developed feelings for him.

I don't need that much of information but, whatever, he said all that to me already.

"So, it's weird to share a kiss with someone you grew up with, but not with me, a total stranger who sometimes schemes to kill you in her head." I mumble.

He suddenly stops his car on the edge of the road and looks at me. "Listen, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"I get it. Stop talking about it, I was talking to myself you're not obligated to respond. I've agreed to this shit myself so I gotta be responsible for it."

"What should I do to make it up to you?"

"No, really. Take it as a pat from a friend. You've been through a lot."

"What?"

Ridiculous, but it must've been really hard for him that he chose to kiss someone he didn't like just to get out of it, and for some reason, it feels like a mild deja vu. "There's this brief moment when I kinda pitied you, since you had to be chased by fear of those girls every day."

"You really have to tell me what you want because-"

"I can relate, about wanting to be free from your draggy problems. It's better to take one big step no matter how annoying it is as long as you can be free afterwards."

"So it's fine. Forget it." I add.

He flinches, suddenly lost in thought before licking his lips then sucking them in. Something is bothering his mind and it's now bothering me. _What will a couple do after sharing a kiss? What's the next level?_ I shiver just by thinking about it. I can't continue this shit. _Cancel_.

\----

He sighs, "Listen, I'll be asking you for a favor soon. I'm sure she'll come up with something in the mean time, probably mom as well, and I don't want any of that."

"I'll feel bad, that's why you need to say what you want. Please."

"Vet clinic, being my driver everyday, sometimes Grandma's, you did a lot. I swear to God. It's hard to think of another one. How about this, what do you want me to want now?" I shake my head. "That's confusing. I mean choose yourself."

"You never actually came to the clinic."

"Right, Taeyang is too healthy. What do you expect? I take my grandma there? You can give free service for her too? _Jeez_."

"Is she sick?"

"She has hypertension. She's fine but sometimes she can be a little careless-"

"Okay, it's settled. Not in my clinic but, rest assured."

"Cool, but why don't I feel good about this? Am I a prostitute yet-"

"Stop assuming. Think of this as... an actress' transaction, where you act for me, and you get paid for it. That simple."

"Right."

 _No_.


	12. Chapter 12

What Taeyang has been fussing over, turns out to be a private party his mom holds for her birthday. It's only a birthday party, what could possibly happen?

I insisted not to buy me anything, but instead borrow it. I said I wanted to thrift my outfits but he declined the idea. He literally borrowed a dress, shoes, bag and accessories for me from two different sisters of his colleagues.

He's willing to pay for my grandma's treatments so I have to prevent him from giving me more things. It's gonna be hard to pay him back. Feeling too indebted to anyone sucks, especially when you're someone who's planned her life for at least 30 years ahead.

"Have you ever thought about it? The thing between us is supposed to be not legit, but we're always together. Almost every day."

He shush me. "Shut up. Can't you talk about other things? Only for now."

"You told me yourself to talk to you. Jeez."

"But not that topic, the walls could've had ears. Jeez."

"Scumbag." I roll my eyes. "Alright, hmm, tell me more about your girl—I mean friend, Hyun?"

He twitches his lips, probably annoyed.

"A friend, really. She's being treated in a hospital right now."

"Eh? Why?"

\----

"Who is this young lady?" Someone with a deep voice distracts Taeyang from our, very important talk.

"She's... she's my girlfriend. Y/n."

I'm about to laugh but I hold it in. I'm trying to keep my mouth closed. He couldn't say the shit he came up with himself. "Y/n, this is Mr. Kim, my uncle. Uncle, this is y/n." He introduces us to each other.

I immediately initiate to shake hands with him first, putting on my most sincere smile. He seems nice. "Hello, nice to meet you. Hope you enjoy the night." _And crazily familiar._

"You got yourself a well-mannered girlfriend, Taeyang. I like her already." The uncle tells him in a teasing-uncle way. "I feel like I've seen you somewhere. Have we met before?"

I start blinking many times. _Bad news_.

"Ah, usually when old people like me feel this way, that means the other party is just a really nice person." He smiles. He's still super nice it's killing me inside, I need to go home. I squeeze Taeyang's hand, startling him that he raises his voice to me. "Ow! What the-" He takes a quick deep breath, trying to calm himself down.

"What is it?" He asks.

"I need to go to the bathroom. Show me where the fuck it is or I'll kill you." I whisper.

"So, uncle, did you come by yourself?" How dare he ignores me. Leaning closer to his ear, I whisper, "Selfish scumbag, bathroom, now." Being the scumbag that he is, he uses his palm to push my forehead away, gently, but powerful.

"No, I came with Youngbin."

That's it I'm going home. I pinch his arm quite hard that he twitches his face but tries not to look too angry. He calmly fake-smiles, as he gently brushes my hand off of him. "W-where is he?" Taeyang asks.

"I think he said he wanted to get a punch." Mr. Kim scans the whole room, then his eyes stop somewhere. Damn. "There he is. Youngbinnie! Here!" He waves his hand.

"You know what, fuck you, I'll go by myself." I fast-walk leaving them to wherever I'll see later


	13. Chapter 13

I found the bathroom and it’s empty. It’s too early for anyone to feel the need of using it right now. The gate has just opened and I have just arrived. Turning on a random tap there, I lean closer to wash my face, but I halt myself, thinking this makeup I'm wearing may not be water-based or even waterproof, I'll end up looking like Frankenstein, so I wash my hands instead. I only need to do something with water, I'm too panicked.

If I come out in this hour, how much is the possibility of me meeting him? Can I sneak out from this place without anyone noticing? The deal with Taeyang could wait. It’s his fault that he disregarded his _girlfriend's_ bathroom calls.

\----

 _Shit_.

Someone looking really delicate, with pushed back hair, dashing black suits, is standing right in front of me as I'm about to return to the venue. Ok Google, how to teleport yourself away? “Hi, are you with Tae-“ He pauses, by himself as his eyes meet mine. I should've turned myself into Frankenstein. “Y/n?”

I tilt my head to the ground, biting my bottom lip, furrowing my entire face. _Panic_. Thinking about how it’s been years already and that he looks fine, alive, and kicking, it’s possible that he's forgotten everything already. Besides, both of us agreed to the decision. “Hi.” I look up and greet him, hesitantly.

“So...“

“ _Dumbhead_!” Taeyang shouts from afar, he's running to this side. "Eh, Youngbin hyung! How are you?” He beams Youngbin with a wide grin planted on his face, they seem close. He looks at me and Youngbin in turns, pursing his lips. “You two know each other?”

I'm flinched, contemplating whether to answer or not because there's still this possibility of Youngbin hating me and wanting to erase me completely from his life, or perhaps the world. I need to go home this instant.

Youngbin lets out a small smile, "Yes." It feels like a soft pat on my shoulders. He's showing his smile, and that's what matters. He reminds me of the Youngbin I know.

"Wah? How?"

"Volunteering, during high school." I mutter.

"What? You? Volunteer???" Taeyang suddenly puffs his cheeks then goes, "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!" He's enjoying this too much he could die from laughing, if only life was The Sims.

"It's true." Youngbin blurts. "She volunteered in several institutions, basically the same with me, and we.." He pauses for a brief second, my heart feels like stopping, this is too nerve wrecking. "We even got together sometime in that period."

"Ah, hyung. Just how did this dumbhead threaten you to say that." He lets out a sigh, twitching the left corner of his lips in disbelief before suddenly widening his eyes. "I see now. That's why it's called you're volunteering."

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!"

I'm thankful for the existence of my burning anger and hatred towards this scumbag, it helps me to ignore the fact that Youngbin, the guy I've disappointed big time, is here.

\----

"So, are you two... a thing?" Youngbin asks.

Is it better to make him think we're legit dating or fake dating or not dating at all? It’s confusing but I don’t have the time to mull over this. "Well, yes. I need to piss mom today." Taeyang blurts. He sings that like a 5 year old, no sugar coating.


	14. Chapter 14

“Beep…… beep… beep…” 

“Hello,” A familiar voice answers from the other side of the line. Both of my palms start to tremble as my head fogs at the thought that he's still there. He doesn’t betray his words. Fear overwhelms me. I'm forgetting why I pressed call on his number in the first place. My eyes drift around not knowing where they want to land.

_“See you when you choose to be honest with your own heart. I’ll always be on the other side of the line. I promise.”_

I find it hard to press the red button on the screen. My heartbeat starts increasing in a rapid rate like it’s trying to hurt me. Maybe I'm scared, or I just miss him too much. 

\---- 

Is it scary because I miss him, or because he actually _keeps his words_. 

\---- 

“Your class starts on 7, right? Sorry, I can’t pick you up today. I’m going to the hospital.” 

“Yea yea, eh, you’re sick?” 

“No, I’m visiting a friend.” 

“Hyun girl?” 

“Yes. See ya.” 

“Good luck!” 

\---- 

We’re in the library, having some reading session next to each other to look like a legit couple that aren’t seen together in literally two places only—class and cafeteria. “How did meeting with Hyun go?” I ask him as I’m opening another page of my book. 

“Ok.” His eyes are locked on his book, glasses on, looking like a dumb scumbag, even dumber than he usually is. His eyesight is still 20/20 but because of his interest in fashion and how elegant he is, _he said_ , he needed glasses. 

“Is it bad?” 

“She.. still hasn’t woken up.” He replies with a flat face giving me a thump in my heart. It must’ve been hard for him that he’s become numb. I know the feeling. 

“God, I’m sorry to hear that. But-” My morbid side suddenly pops up. “You’re not gonna keep taking her shifts until she wakes up or something, right?” I'm panicking since this has something to do with my well-being. Having to accompany him for unpaid shifts then do my own at night. When will I have my sleep? My 30-year plan is at risk. 

“No.” 

“Thank God my 30-year plan is finally getting justice.” I mumble. 

“What.” 

“Aren’t you tired of the shifts already?” 

“I am.“ He puffs his cheeks, letting out a deep breath. I pity him. He’s been there since day 1, he must've had it harder. “But it’s alright. Only 1 month left.”

Thrilled, my eyes widen as my mouth falls in a huge gasp. I'm leaning closer to his face, his cheek and my lips are only one breath apart. “YAAAS!” I whisper my scream. 

He pulls his head away, “Don’t do that on someone else's face.” He places his palm on my forehead, pushing me off of him. “Whispers are meant to be heard so don’t do it on my face but ears. ” He mutters. 

\---- 

“I really thought it’s gonna last forever. Your shifts.” I put my hands on the desk, resting my cheek on them. It’s a huge relief that I'll one day see the light—by light I meant sleep, I'm sleep deprived because I’ve been losing my nap time, or my only source of sleep these days.

“She’s bound in a 6-months contract.” He sighs again, pursing his lips. 

“I see.” 

“Why did you decide to-“ I'm cut, someone places their palms on our shoulders and squeezes them. They’re leaning closer to our ears, whispering, “Get out. Come when you two want to read. _Only_.” It's the library clerk.

Taeyang immediately walks really fast leaving the library way ahead of me. Or he's walking normally, but everything just seems like moving too fast because I'm too tired.

“Wait up!”


	15. Chapter 15

He's legit running, I can't keep up.

After a few shouts, his shoulders shrug in annoyance but he finally sits on a bench nearby to wait for the turtle me.

\----

He rolls his eyes.

"Why did you have to pull such a scene there? Dumb-" He stops, as I sit beside him, panting, leaning even closer than earlier that my nose practically touches the skin 2 inches beside his lips. "Sorry for that, but we looked quite intimate, so you're welcome." It's not that I'm willing to be this close with him but I'm feeling a little, tipsy.

I slowly scoot away and start collecting my breath. I've been so sleep deprived that it's hard to even walk from one room to another room in this building. I rest my back on the wall for a brief second, before something hits me. "Right, why did you decide to take her shifts?" I ask him.

"Earth to scumbag?" Even if it takes so long for him to answer, I won't back down. I need to find every hole in it that I can probably manipulate so I can stop doing these unpaid shifts and get more paid ones. I've decided that I'll never ask him to pay me even for Grandma. I hate receiving stuff that may harm me in the future, but at the same time _I need money_.

"They needed money, but they refused my money." He pauses. _I can relate to them._ "They refused my offer to pay for their hospital bills. So I thought I could at least do this much." He kept mentioning the word they, but why did he have to take the shifts on behalf of _they_? I thought it's for a her only?

"Wait, why did you address her as they? That's a first. Oh, so you just assumed their gender as a she back then yourself. That's disrespectful." I mumble to myself.

"Stop talking." He grumbles.

Serious talk, if _they_ did exist, then why did it have to be him who took the responsibility for her contract? Why not one of those people? There are plenty of sensible possible answers for this but, my guts tells me that something's just not clicking.

"Why is everything turning white?" I mutter. I don't feel good. Bending my body to the front, head hanging, facing the ground, both my palms are holding onto the bench keeping me from falling forward.

"Dumbhead, you ok?" A pair of hands suddenly holds my shoulders, gently, not attempting to squeeze me as before. It calms me a little. "How much did you drink last night?"

"Fuck? No. I work at night."

"What time did you sleep?"

"4?"

"AM?"

"Yes."

"God, why'd you never tell me that?"

"What-"

\----

It feels like in a blink, I'm already in his car, on our way to somewhere outside campus. He put me on the seat beside him and it's bended to the back so I'm basically laying down. This is supposed to be comfortable if my head isn't a bitch—it's hurting me.

"You and that Hyun person, were you two dating?" I randomly start a conversation to make sure I don't, die.

"Why are you asking stupid questions? Shut up, save it."

"Come on, I hate the idea of passing out. Keep talking."

He groans before finally spilling the first, tea, "No, the answer is no."

He drives carefully like I was made of something fragile but what's funny, is how his face looks worried as fuck that he's rushed, but he thinks he can't actually rush this.

I chuckle.

"Stop being crazy. Rest." He grumbles.

"You must've liked her so much. I mean them."

"No."

"But they liked you."

"Enough. Just sleep or something!"

"No, thank you."

"Why are you so willing to take their shifts for 6 months? That's really something."

He lets our a deep sigh, but so grumpy that he sounds more like he's groaning, "She's in the hospital because of me. Somehow. Now shut up."

"Fucking cliche."


	16. Chapter 16

“Kim Youngbin.”

Her phone started to ring as that name appeared on the screen. Assuming they’re still in contact with each other, something in his heart trembled and he didn’t feel good about it—for some reason.

It took him a few beeps to finally answer the call.

“Hello?”

“Who is this?”

“Hyung, this is Taeyang.”

“Ahh, so this is your other number?” He's startled. He couldn't believe hyung didn't know whose number this was.

_What did she do?_

“I called because I wanted to ask why you called me on 4 in the morning but didn’t say a thing. I was _lowkey_ terrified. But I think I've found the answer. You must’ve slept on your phone, right?” Youngbin chuckled.

“Um… right.”

\----

He realized, she must’ve called hyung before she went to sleep. She said she slept on 4 thus clearly she didn’t sleep on the phone. She did call him. He still couldn't understand why she didn't say a thing.

_Maybe she missed him._

Not wanting to meddle with her business and risk himself getting hunted by her, he decided not to tell the truth. "She can explain everything to hyung later if she wants, therefore I have nothing to lose." He thought.

\----

"Hyung, there's something I want to ask you about."

"What is it?"

He wanted to ask about her, as curiosity had filled his mind, but he couldn’t form a sentence. There were so many things he wanted to dig and yet he didn't have the courage to do it.

His mind fogged at the realization that the thing between him and her didn't originate from mutual feelings but simply an agreement. He didn't need to dig anything.

"How are you doing, hyung? Now that you're back in Seoul? I missed you so much."

Youngbin chuckled.

"I missed you too. We should hang out sometimes! I'm on residency, in your dad's. You know where it is. I'm busy but I still have some time for us to catch up with each other, if you want to. Just call me or something."

"Ah, alright. I'll pay a visit."

"Looking forward to that!"

"Hyung, there's another thing."

“Uh-huh?”

He thought, this was it. If he didn’t do it at this moment, he most likely wouldn’t have another chance in the future. Feelings or an agreement, all he knew was that he's curious of what's in front of him and that it'd be harder to talk about in front of hyung's face.

“How are you and… y/n?”

The guy on the other side of the line flinched. Little did he know, that his hyung wished he knew the answer too. _But he didn't._

“What do you mean by how?”

“Did you two separate on a good term?”

“Why you ask?”

“I’m just.. curious.”

“I don’t know.”

\----

"I hope you'll take care of her better, than me."


	17. Chapter 17

Taeyang had been getting a package of painting, every single day. They came from the same sender. He always respected arts but not to this extent. It's not that the paintings were ugly, but he'd gotten bored and perhaps, frustrated. The only place people didn't chase him at was his house. His safe zone. But in that period, someone dared to invade that personal zone.

\----

It all started from when he tried to save his life from people chasing him to get his number, then he stopped by a small hidden room in the campus. It's located in the most upper part of the Faculty of Arts' building. Hidden and apparently occupied.

He saw many artsy paintings placed side by side on the wall. Since he had no choice but to stay there for a while, he took a look on one random painting there. "This will be ok on the waiting room of the vet clinic." He mumbled to himself.

"You can have it if you want." A voice responded to him, and it belonged to a girl.

He's startled, scared that she's one of _them_ , he flinched for a while until he realized that she's too calm to be them.

"In fact, you can have all. I'm about to get rid of them in a few days."

"No, I'm good. Thanks for the offer, though. I'm interested in this one, you can send it to my address."

"Tell me your bank account number, I'll transfer right now." He added.

"No, I'm not selling them. Just give me the address."

It's fascinating to him that people who did things for free actually existed. He accepted the free offer—and that's when the craziness began to happen.

\----

"You need to stop sending me those things. I'll be moving out soon. I'll give them away to other people, starting from tomorrow whether you like it or not."

\----

"I will, but you have to do something first for me."


	18. Chapter 18

His cousin has taken this shit to another level.

\----

I don’t die, yet and as I open my eyes, scumbag is sitting right beside me, head resting on the edge of my bed while he’s playing with his phone. I'm basically facing his hair.

“You’re not a scumbag. You’re actually a good person.” I mutter to myself, seeing his fluffy, soft, dark hair, not less _beautiful_ than the front side of his head that my hand raises by itself, about to do a landing on his hair.

But he suddenly tilts his head to me, and instead of noticing the now-startled hand that I drop immediately, he furrows his eyebrows. Something is bothering his mind and he seems sad about it.

“Sorry... and thanks.” I blurt.

He takes a deep breath then buries his face on the bedsheet, his fluffy hair flips. _Stop bragging._ "What's up? Is there.. anything wrong?" I ask him. "Everything." He says in a very depressed tone, hitting my heart like a rock as I do realize that my sleep-deprived state must've bothered him so much.

"Next time you should just, leave me. Literally leave me on the bench. This wasn't my first. I'll definitely find my way home sometime after-" He cuts me, "I was really confused about how to start this but, seriously," He strokes his hair with his fingers. _I said stop bragging._

"I said I'm sorry." I mutter.

"You shouldn't continue this way of life of yours!" He grumbles.

"What are you talking about?"

"This is for your own sake." He sits on the side of my bed, leaning closer to skim my entire face with his palm. First the forehead, cheeks, then.. neck and he stops there, probably to check the temperature.

"It may lead in severe fatigue, heart diseases, trouble in processing things, hallucinations-" He presses his eyes. "Didn't you have this 30-year plan you need to execute? Stop missing your sleep."

"But, I can't."

He takes a deep breath, as he _suddenly_ rubs the upper part of my head, fixing my hair. "Listen, you don't need to accompany me doing the shifts anymore. No, in fact, you're not welcome there now, never."

"Alright, chill. Why are you so..." _Cute_. "Worked up?" I should be happy that my unpaid shifts have just officially ended but, I don't feel good about it. It might be the way he delivered the thing, or I just can't accept the fact that he's mad at me.

"I'm.. sorry." He mutters, pressing his eyes, seemingly frustrated about something or himself. "I just got a text from my cousin. She invited us to her villa somewhere I forgot, because she wanted to test it out if we're actually a couple, or not."

"What??"

"This Saturday. I'm sorry." He sighs. "Back to your sleep, please remember that you create this sleep debt every time you miss your sleep."

"Alright, soon-to-be doctor. Wait, how are you so knowledgeable about human health? Do you guys study it as well in your faculty?"

He rolls his eyes.

 _I missed that for some reason_.

\----

"Do you want to work in the vet clinic?"

"Huh?" I ask while gasping.

"How about a pet shop?"

"Mall?"

He's basically bragging at this point.

"Showroom?"

"Pet's hotel?"

"You actually own a pet's hotel?"

"Why not? Ok, hotel it is."

"No, thank you, Mr. own-it-all."


	19. Chapter 19

We're going separately to the villa—I mean I'm with Taeyang, but I thought the cousin would go with us like, never mind.

There'll be the cousin, some of her friends I don't know, some of his friends I also don't know, and/or some of their mutual friends and family there, I suppose. There won't be only us _three_ , right, that's awkward.

\----

"Has she ever held this kind of event previously?"

"Yes."

"What did you do?"

"Chilling."

"What kind of chilling?"

\----

It's a _fucking_ resort with no visitor but us.

I understand they're rich but not this rich—rich is probably an understatement. Should've sensed that already when he mentioned mall and hotel the other day.

This private place is ridiculously full of employees that my dignity is hurting. It must be so much fun to work here.

There's no way the owner spends the rest of their life here but only like once a month, or maybe a week maximum, or not at all, because they own many other resorts.

What can the employees probably do when this resort is empty? Enjoying the services themselves, taking selfies, playing mobile games, the list goes on, and yet still getting paid.

Seriously thriving.

\----

"Fuck, who said I agreed to stay in the same room with you."

"Just a disclaimer, don't be too sad, I'll sleep on the couch."

"Seriously." I drop myself on the couch, sighing. "This floor itself probably got at least 10 rooms but look at us. So fucking poor."

"20." He corrects it. I roll my eyes, _like that's important_. "This is why I should've never agreed to the non-existent-but-terrorizing mind contract between us." I grumble to myself.

"Listen, sorry that I had no choice. We need to be in one room if we want to look legit."

"You, not we."

"Anyways, what can we do in this place, let's see." I jump off of the couch then bolts to peek from a really huge window here.

They have several pools with different shapes and sizes. I see his cousin already in her super thin bikini, more like g-strings and bra 2 size smaller, doing her almost skinny dip with her friends. I'll surely never go to any of that.

She brought quite a lot of friends, I'm amazed. For an event that's supposed to be for us three—for her to spy on us—this is really extra. This feels more like a school's retreat or something, but make it expensive.

" _Holy shit_."

"Nobody told me he's coming."

"What is this place?"

"Who?" Taeyang's gotten curious that he's now standing right beside me. "He came sometimes. It's alright."

"It's alright to you."

"What's with you two, actually?"

"Nothing. We're good." I let out one, devastating heavy sigh. "And that's why it's scary."


	20. Chapter 20

My day 1 here was perfect, almost, I was happily sleeping on the bed, paying some of the overdue sleep debts to my body. Taeyang was on his phone, not able to go out because not only he hated this place and the organizer but also he thought we needed to stay together, if not then she'd be happy.

Until _shit_ happened.

\----

"Why did you have to be up in this hour." He grumbles in my ear, basically whispering as the cousin is busy preparing things. She asked, more like forced us to gather somewhere near the many pools. I sincerely thought she's gonna treat us some supper, but sadly not. A bunch of different bottles and glasses are placed like a tower, or stadium here, fancy, and I'm still hungry.

I came hand in hand with Taeyang as per his request, until now, however, "Holy-" I blurt, immediately stop myself as I see such a really familiar figure but realize I mustn't swear, because no one does here. They have manners. My grab on his hand loosens, for a vague reason my whole body has grown weak, I can't feel my legs.

"I'm seriously hungry." I whisper to him.

"I ordered a lot of things back in the room. Jeez."

"You ate everything."

"You're sleeping."

"Fine."

\----

"Aren't we too underdressed here? I take that back. They are underdressed."

The _classmates_ start to show up one by one—classmates, for this feels like a class outing but rated 19. Me and Taeyang are so PG-13 since he's in just a t-shirt and jeans, while me, even more breathtaking, oversized hoodie and sweatpants, basically ready to go to bed.

I see too much skin and abs only that my eyes hurt. Abs are good but when literally everyone got abs and expose them altogether, pain in the eyes. Except for this one guy, his hair is a little wet, like he's just showered before he came here, my eyes slowly heal themselves. He's taking his shirt off showing his trunks, his body lines... "Whatever but can you not swoon over your ex when _your boyfriend_ is right beside you, breathing and talking?" He groans.

"Right, sorry, _boyfriend_. Fucking sensitive." I roll my eyes and they land at his face unconsciously go down to his waist, his toe, back to his waist. He's gonna rock it as well, honest review, no sarcasm involved.

"Don't do it on me."

"I was.. just-"

\----

Music is blasted so loud out of nowhere I feel like swearing. There's a whole DJ here but I'm not sure, they're overshadowed by colorful lights as glow sticks are all over the pools.

\----

I randomly go to a worker nearby who's been standing cautiously looking around like she's waiting for someone to come and ask for something, so, "Hi, sorry, is there anything to eat here?" She starts talking in french or something—she's listing the menu.

"Is there.. anything similar to burgers? Please give me one if you may."

"Yes, there is some, Miss. Do you want-"

"Listen, if they're in french again then please pick one for me, anything. Thank you so much."


	21. Chapter 21

I feel like crying this instant.

\----

"To make the night even more heated, I have this one game for all of us. Promise it's gonna be a lot of fun!" The cousin has claimed a microphone and, hurt my ears.

I'm having my burger, weird one I don't like the meat it's salty, while sitting on some chair around the pools with Taeyang that's as usual, playing with his phone next to me.

"I hate this place."

"Now you get me."

\----

The super loud music is suddenly paused.

"This is called XOXO game. As the song's playing, all of us will have to hold this ball in turn, and stop if the song stops. Let's say it's me, then I have to take out a name out of the ball and within 5 seconds I have to find and hug the person. If I fail after 5 seconds, I have to kiss the person."

The _fuck_. I know literally two persons here.

"Or else, drink one whole bottle of wine."

"If the first person agrees but the second doesn't, the second has to drink a glass of wine, quickly, before it happens."

And it's started.

Me and Taeyang are still on the chairs, most people are inside the pools. Everyone is scattered everywhere, and is throwing the ball in turns. This is boring.

\----

"Yoo Taeyang!" A random girl blurts as she has the ball on her hands. He immediately pours a wine to a glass and drinks it all in one shot. I tilt my head, shookt, "When did you get all this?"

He has two bottles on the table between our chairs and a glass, chuckling me a little because this highkey looks like he's expecting his name to be called a lot.

"Has this happened before?"

"No, but yes."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

It's true, I'm trying not to be too skeptical but his name has been called for like 5 times, out of probably 20 or 25 people here. How to not think that she put at least 50 Yoo Taeyang there to increase her chance of kissing him?

Someone throws the ball at me and it lands on my lap as the song stops. I lazily take out a name thinking it'll be another Yoo Taeyang. However,

"Who is it?" The cousin asks through the mic.

"Can I re-draw? I don't know the person. It's not fair."

She smirks. She fucking smirks at me.

"Is it alright?" She asks the crowd. "If no one disagrees then go ahead."

I take another paper and it's still the same.

"Kim Youngbin." I mutter.

She begins to count, "5, 4, 3," I'm betting my salty burger that she's planned this. "2, 1!" People start chanting, "Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss!"

I take the second bottle Taeyang took earlier, pour it into his glass, and drink it all. Twitching my entire face as I'm not a fan of this, I pour another one.

"Crazy. You could've just hugged him."

After like 3 glasses,

"You there, you can stop now. He actually has drunk one glass to avoid you."

Why didn't you say that earlier.


	22. Chapter 22

The fake couple had finally arrived in their shared room. Taeyang supported her the entire way by lingering her arm around his shoulders, as she seemed sober, pretty much, but couldn't walk straight.

He carefully dropped her on the couch then sat next to her.

"Have you turned on the AC yet?" She blurted.

"Already."

He tilted his head, seeing the sight of her pinching her hoodie on her chest and flapping it. She felt the temperature raising rapidly that her face became reddish, it's uncomfortable.

His poor heart beat faster at the sight.

"Stop staring."

\----

He shook his head.

"You look awful." He muttered.

"I know right. Shut up." She rolled her eyes before dropping her head on her lap, supporting the forehead with both of her palms. Her shoulders began to tremble as she suddenly sobbed.

"What.. are you doing?"

"Cooking? Duh, it's obvious. Shut up." He let out a subtle smile noticing she's still _terrifying_ even in this state.

"I'll get you some water."

"Do you think it's wrong when you left someone without a solid reason?"

His eyebrows furrowed at the question, as he's walking with a glass of water back to the couch. "Depends."

He poked her shoulders. "Water?" She shook her head and looked up to him, "Depends on what?" Her nose and cheeks were red like she's sick. _Cute_ , he thought.

But as his eyes landed on her eyes, meeting them, his heart weakened. Her eyes looked hazy, but dark at the time, like her mind wasn't actually there. He put the glass on the table, afraid he'd drop it in no time.

"Never mind, forget it. I'm probably too drunk." She blurted as she dropped her head again.

"Are you okay?"

"No, but yes."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

She chuckled. "You said the same thing earlier. Now we're even." His heart warmed as she'd finally felt better, he supposed.

"You'd look so good in those trunks, seriously."

"Huh? What are you talking about?"

"Those trunks he wore."

The word _he_ hit his heart like a mini bullet. He's stuck in between feeling thankful and irritated. Realizing that her talking about another guy irritated him, he flinched.

 _We're fake_ , he reminded himself.

\----

"So that's what's on your mind when you're staring at me intensely back in the pool."

"You're beautiful, what do you expect?"

"I'm taking that back. The alcohol ruined me. Speaking of which, why is it getting even hotter here?"

"Something's wrong with the AC." She grumbles as she's grabbing the hem of her hoodie, getting ready to take it off.

His eyes widened, his heart beat even faster like it wanted to hurt him. His hand found itself suddenly holding her hand, stopping her, while his other hand skimmed her cheek pulling her into a kiss.

"Sorry." He muttered as he broke the contact. Much to his shock, her hands walked to his jaw, pulling him into another kiss.


	23. Chapter 23

> [ **Warning**! From this point onwards there's going to be a few mature contents. No smut, but if you don't feel comfortable with suggestive words, **skip** this chapter. You won't miss a thing.]

Brushing each other's lips, the kisses turned needier than what they initially had, or planned to have if there's ever a plan. Both their minds had fogged. _Is it the alcohol?_

She couldn't bear with the heat that she broke away. "I can't do this." She muttered.

He slowly opened his eyes, "Sorry-" He's cut by the sight of her already taking the hoodie off, abs showing up by half. Saliva had begun filling up his mouth that it's gonna come out soon. He bit his bottom lip, resisting the urge of making weirds sounds. _She's gonna leave_ , he thought. But after putting the hoodie aside, she cupped him while her eyes drifting to his lips.

His lips parted at the thought of her grazing his lips again. He lingered his hands around her waist, putting her in his lap facing him. She leaned closer but stopped as his nose touched her cheek. She pressed her eyes feeling him breathing against her skin, making him grow frustrated. He slammed his lips on hers, chewing every edge of her lips.

He's gone crazy, she made him crazy.

Her fingers were pressing the back of his neck, slowly going down inside his tshirt that he couldn't stand it anymore. He wanted to feel her more. He pulled away, took the tshirt off and threw it to the floor.

\----

"You're beautiful. It's annoyi-" Her eyes fluttered, sighing, she couldn't continue her sentence feeling him brushing the crook of her neck with his lips. He's liking the sound she made so much that he grazed his lips all over her collarbones. Her face twitching at every bit of his touch, it's ruining her.

Her hands trailed his chest, her thumbs messing with his nipples, making him sigh desperately. He pulled her closer and slipped his hands onto her waist, closing the gap between them that her clothed womanhood accidentally brushed his already-hardened member. He groaned at the sudden pleasure. He pulled her even further as he bit his lip, eyes rolling backwards afraid he'd finish before her.

Feeling his size, she whimpered, suddenly couldn't feel her own legs that her breath's becoming even shorter.

"Do you... like me?" She murmured.

"I don't know," He replied, holding his breath. He wanted her to finish first.

\----

She showered his neck with open-mouthed kisses fuming his entire body. He still attempted to hold it in that he bit his lip pressing his eyes shut.

She went back to his ear, "Forget it." Her finger drew circles on his collarbone as she started nibbling his earlobe, licking it, making him gasping at her touch on his sensitive spots, giving a boost to her euphoria. She went down to kiss his collarbone deeply, licking and sucking it, making sure to leave a mark.

\----

A tingling sensation aroused on her clit that she tightened the grip of her legs. Groaning at the sensation, she tried pressing her clothed clit on him. She loosened and tightened it, driving both his and her cores crazy. Her head falling on his shoulder, desperately panting against his skin.

"Yoo Taeyang.." She moaned his name.

He sighed, he loved it so much that it's his name and not someone else's. He gave her one hard press on the waist, allowing her clit get a good bump that her muscles began to shiver feeling her upcoming climax.

" _I like you._ " He whispered in her ear.

She dropped her forehead on his shoulder while she let out a heavy, long satisfying moan. His eyes fluttered hearing her falling into bliss as he's having his finish.


	24. Chapter 24

My head feels like it's just gotten hit by a car then a truck then a car again. Everything around me is spinning, might be literally.

"I always hate wine." I grumble, getting off of the bed, lazily walked to reach the door knob. Before I actually open it, the realization that I need to get a proper shirt for I'm almost half naked riffling my eyes to my body. My eyes widen twice their size, startled, I'm fully clothed with my stupid breathtaking hoodie. _Was it only my imagination?_

Now it makes sense.

My brains recalled that the last legit thing last night was likely the moment I sobbed for no reason. There's a reason, I was suddenly emotional knowing that Youngbin didn't want to have anything to do with me, as they said he drank a glass of wine before me. It's not that I wanted to have any kind of contact with his body but I was just an emo fickle-minded bitch—I still am.

\----

There's still the possibility that the make out sess was legit, as it felt kinda real, but I don't want to risk embarrassing myself in front of scumbag.

I push myself to walk out of the room, finding him sitting in the mini dining room with a white tshirt, his fluffy hair looks so on point stopping my heart for a brief second. _Did I run my fingers through it in the dream?_ If not then I was stupid.

He's eating something from a bowl, there are two bowls on the table, one in front of him, one in front of an empty chair. Assuming it's for me I randomly bolt there and sit. I'm shameless.

"You're up."

"Clearly." I take the spoon, about to fill it with the food, I mutter, "You're not gonna charge me or anything if I eat this, right?"

"Jeez." He sighs, the sound he makes feels like a dejavu to the memory last night, gulping, I'm mentally cursing myself for having such a dream with this scumbag. A really mesmerizing scumbag.

I need to seek help.

\----

"By any chance, did I.. or we do something weird last night?" I ask him stupid question that he coughs, chokes on a _fucking_ porridge. "I know right? It's ridiculous." I hand him his glass, helping him to take a sip.

He runs his hand through his fluffy hair, flipping it backwards as he blurts, "Define weird." He can just cut his bangs if he hates it, I'm drooling inside. "Well," I mutter. My mouth can't seem to stop producing water.

"What happened with you and Youngbin hyung?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Never mind, forget I ever asked."

"I must've blabbered things about it last night, right?" I press my eyes.

"Sorry, it's just.. it's still haunting me even today. I broke up with him when I was still in shock of losing my parents so, it's crazy. I was the crazy one."

"Sorry for the tmi." I murmur.

"I'm... sorry for your parents."

"It's alright."


	25. Chapter 25

I insisted to go with him on his cafeteria girl visitation schedule. My curiosity was just so unbearable.

\----

She's laying on the bed with a bunch of attributes to keep her breathing and basically, alive. Kim Sohyun, that's what's written on bottom side of her bed.

A slender girl with a straight long hair, pretty lashes that even I, am attracted that I smile at the sight. Beautiful, just like her name. She seems nice and familiar.

I feel bad that she has to go through this in such a young age.

"I don't buy that she isn't your girlfriend." I whisper to Taeyang's ear. He side-eyes me.

There are an ahjusshi and an ahjumma here who I assume to be her parents, and they're currently looking at each other after witnessing us _gossiping_.

"Ah yes, they're Sohyun's parents, Mr. and Mrs. Kim. This is y/n," I smile awkwardly. For a sec, I'm panicking because I haven't asked him yet whether I should act like his girlfriend, friend, or just a passerby.

"My girlfriend."

I gulp, then shake each of their hand.

\----

I'm already outside when I see Taeyang giving the mother an envelope, seemingly super thick as if he's buying their house or something. Didn't he say that _they_ refused his money?

"What did you just do?" I ask him.

"Uh, visiting her?" He replies sarcastically, furrowing his eyebrows while he's looking at me.

"No, the envelope."

"It's nothing. Let's go."

"Ahh, it must be from the unending cafeteria shifts."

"No, it's transferred to their account every month."

"What??"

He drags me to his car.

\----

"Seriously, did you just buy their house?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Your envelope was so thick I bet it could buy my house."

"You want me to buy your house?"

Twitching my entire face, I can't, believe anyone could say that so easily. I know he's rich as fuck but, never mind.

"I was just confused about why you gave them money even though you said before that they refused your money."

"It's true, they literally said that. They also refused my offer for the hospital bills."

"Then clearly, they lied to you?" I murmur. "Don't tell me you gave them that every time you visited them."

"Why are you making a fuss over that? Do you need money?"

"Jeez, seriously. You won't understand." I grumble as I stroke my hair, slightly pulling it in frustration.

"Listen, they must've had it hard already. Having to accompany their daughter here while working to make a living. It's normal that they need money."

Sigh, he's right.


	26. Chapter 26

"Kim Sohyun, Kim Sohyun, Kim Sohyun... Kim So-" I'm currently doing my night shift in a certain coffee shop, and my workmate suddenly sits beside me, asking, "Hey, what's up with Kim Sohyun?"

"I don't know. I feel like that name is so familiar but I can't really recall who."

"Hm, it's the name of that weird family's daughter."

"What?"

"What?"

"You mentioned something about a weird family. Which family?"

"They live just a few blocks behind this shop. They fought a lot, I guess. I happened to witness some while throwing our thrashes outside."

"Ah, but we're probably talking about different people." I purse my lips. "Is the daughter pretty? Like really pretty with long hair?"

"Yes, I guess. Actually, you can check by yourself, right now," He chuckles as he bites his lip, "While you throw my trashes."

"Jeez, no problem."

\----

I don't have to wait for a long time, that I already see the girl I saw the other day laying on the hospital bed, now in front of me by a few meters, alive and kicking. I slowly walk closer to their house, to confirm whether my eyes are deceiving me or not.

My eyes widen to a maximum size.

I take my phone out and immediately take a photo of her and her parents. They seem to be talking about something inside, but they're standing like they're arguing. Whatever it is, I got my proofs.

There's no way they're good people when they received Taeyang's fat envelope every week, but while saying they wouldn't.

Not to mention, they made him do the shifts of their daughter for free. I don't have even the slightest respect for this family.

\----

I'm calling Taeyang.

"What's up?"

"This is emergency."

"Are you okay? Your head acting up again? Where are you?"

"No, I'm okay. I have something really important to tell you." I sigh, wanting to spill everything now but it's better if I do it on his face. "I know this is late, sorry, but are you free now? Can we meet up?"

"Tell me where you're at."

"Work. I just finished my shift. I'll text you the address."

\----

"So, what's the emergency you wanted to tell me about?"

"You may want to hold onto something because the thing I'll be talking about will probably shock you."

"Um, okay. I'm literally holding onto my car's steer. Now tell me."

"I saw the cafeteria girl today."

"Which one?"

"The Hyun girl, please."

"What?"

"I saw her talking to her parents in her house."

"What?"

"Can you say anything beside what?" I roll my eyes as I take my phone out of my pocket, showing him the photo. "See?"

He doesn't look amused, as he should, but he looks upset that it's scary. Alright, he could be upset with the family.

He lets out a heavy sigh, "Why are you so obsessed with this?"

"What?"

"You even went to her house just to prove that."

"I didn't. I just-"

"Listen, even if she's woken up this whole time, I don't care."

I flinch as I start losing the feeling in my hands.

"How much do you need?"

Is he for real?

My eyes have grown hot, so ready to produce tears as his words hurt me like a bullet shot right against my chest. I was worrying for nothing. He's always a scumbag.

"I don't need your money. I'm not her. I thought we're at least, friends."

I snicker at how naive I've been.

"Right, you only see me as the actress for your stupid grey fake girlfriend thing. For the note, I didn't go to her house. She lives near the place we used to throw our trashes."

A tear falls on my cheek signaling that it's time for me to leave.

I open his car's door, mumbling to myself, " _Fucking_ _scumbag_."

I immediately run off.


	27. Chapter 27

"Hello,"

"Good morning, may I speak to Miss y/n?"

"Yes, who am I speaking to?"

"I'm the housekeeper of Mr. Yoo Taeyang's family. We met at Mrs. Yoo's birthday party."

"Ah, yes I remember. Is there anything I can help you with?"

"Mrs. Yoo is inviting you for lunch in her restaurant, near your campus. Would you please come?"

"What time?"

"What time are you free today?"

"Around 11 AM."

"Alright. Please come at 12 PM."

\----

I have nothing to expect regarding the lunch invitation. I've been putting a break on my _shit_ with _scumbag_ as I can't, ever accept what he said to me. He's made it clear that we aren't even friends in the first place. Besides, allegedly having a fight among us would seem like we're actually a legit couple, right?

I still do have pity for him.

"Y/n." Her mother says as I enter the room. Bowing to her, I greet her, "Good afternoon."

One of her workers signals me to sit on the chair in front of her, so I do as told.

\----

"I heard you're living with your grandma?"

"Yes."

Suddenly, some waitresses come and start serving several menus on the table.

"Let's say, if I tell you to pay for all the food today, you can do it, right?" My eyebrows furrow at her weird statement.

"With Taeyang's money?"

I get where this is going.

Clenching my teeth, I'm furious, but I should control my emotions as for some reason, I don't want to ruin his image in front of his mom and these workers. Keep your _fucking_ smile on your face.

She chuckles to herself, then starts to slice a big chicken and put one on my plate. I take the fork placed in front of me, about to use it for the meat but realizing it has a stain on it, I turn my head to a worker on my back.

"Sorry, I think this fork is stained. May I ask for a new one?"

"What happened with the fork?" Taeyang's mom suddenly blurts.

"It's stained, maybe-"

"As you can see, a stained, dirty fork doesn't fit with the clean fancy plate."

"The same goes for you. Taeyang is the heir of the Yoo group, even successful with his own businesses, he's everything people could dream of. Meanwhile you, an orphan with no clear information about your parents, no clear future, you shouldn't-"

"I get it." I stand up.

"For the note, I've never asked him to spend even 1 cent for me. I might be an orphan, I never met my biological parents, but I'm living well and happy with my grandma that we never have even the slightest desire to look down on other people to boost our ego and satisfy our needs."

"Thank you for the food. Have a great day."

I bow then immediately leave the cursed place, and owner.

My eyes have just been flooded by tears but I can't let them fall for a cursed someone. They're precious.


	28. Chapter 28

"Y/n!"

Taeyang's been trying to talk to me since this morning, which I definitely ignored, and he finally manages to halt me when I'm waiting for the bus.

I roll my eyes.

"You met my mom."

"Get to the thing."

"I just want to apologize on behalf of her." He sighs. "Please forgive her. She misunderstood. I've told her that you never asked for my money, at all and that you're not like what she thought."

"Cool, are you done? What she thought of me was exactly like what you thought of me. I understand. I'm going."

"What are you talking about?"

"Move aside."

"Listen, I never thought that you-"

"You know what? I don't care. Can we stop doing whatever we're doing now? I'm tired of having to see you."

"My bus is coming." I walk away but he suddenly grabs my wrist, stopping me. "I caused the accident." He blurts. My eyebrows furrow as I stare at him in the eyes not getting what he's talking about.

"I caused Sohyun's accident, are you satisfied?"

"Huh?"

"That's why... I don't care even if she's woken up or not. I'm still guilty."

"They're fucking using you!"

"I deserve it."

"Did you.. hit her by a car?"

"No."

"Did you push her off of a cliff or something?"

"Similar to that."

"What-"

"Now you see why."

I immediately wave to a bus approaching this way, and go in. I don't feel good about what he told me. Something is still off.

\----

I hate how I still care about this _shit_.

My parents always told me to stand for the good. I shall never give up when it's about helping other people, or else I'll regret it later. The fact that I have the heart, means that there's a plan for me to do something about it, and it's a must.

I visit the hospital to first go to the room that's allegedly hers, and there's no patient named Kim Sohyun. Then, I go to the receptionist, hoping for some information that may help me understand the situation better.

"Hello, may I help you?"

"Am I allowed to ask about whether my friend did get a treatment here, or not, for the past 6 months?"

"What's their name?"

"Kim Sohyun."

She begins to do her thing on her computer, then she looks up to me, "Yes, 5 months ago there's a patient named Kim Sohyun, female, 19 years old, admitted for a car accident."

 _Shit_.

"Sorry for bothering you again, but is there any other details I can know about it?"

"She's admitted for 3 days."

"Thank you for your help."

\----

Just then, I bring my persistent slash stubborn ass to the police department of the city. I've told myself that this is the last, I'll stop if I don't find anything there.

"Hello, may I ask you the details about an accident around 6 months ago? Most likely a car accident, I don't know the date but the name of the victim, and possibly the guilty party."

"The victim's name is Kim Sohyun. Female, 19 years old. She's admitted in the Yoo Hospital. If you can't tell me about it, it's alright, I'll-"

"Miss, she's the victim of a hit-and-run accident. Luckily, it's nothing serious."

"Hit-and-run?"

"Yes."

"By any chance, did someone push her beforehand that she got hit by the car?"

"No, it's written here that she was sitting on the road when suddenly a car hit her and ran away."

"You said you know the name of the possible guilty party, what is it?"

"Um, actually, I'm not sure he's guilty but he thinks he is. He said he pushed her, that's why she got into an accident. His name is Yoo Taeyang."

"Please tell him he doesn't need to worry. She's been sitting there for at least 3 minutes, by herself, which means that she could've stood up and left by herself."


	29. Chapter 29

"You weren't there. You have no idea what happened."

"It's hard to talk to someone with the head of a stone."

\----

Our door bell rings,

"I'll get it, Grandma."

As I open the door, someone tall, sturdy, and _crazily_ familiar is standing right in front of me. I rub my eyes making sure I'm not deceived by my own stresses these days, and the person is still there.

"Y/n?"

"Holy-" I halt myself from cursing.

Fear starts to fill up my entire body, I feel blood rushing from my head to my feet, readying myself to run this instant.

"Can we talk, please?" He asks, as he shows two drinks he's holding to me, that he's been hiding behind his back. He brings an iced coffee for himself and a chocolate milkshake for me. He still remembers.

I gulp, I'm really scared but he's already here. Besides, it's been a long time already so most likely, nothing scary will happen.

I must stop running away.

\----

"So, you called me on 4 AM? I just.. want to say thank you for finally reaching out to me."

"How did you-"

"I called again and Taeyang answered it. I thought it's his number. But this morning he told me that it's actually yours."

"And, he told me about you being his fake girlfriend to help him."

 _Shit_.

Once a scumbag, always a scumbag. He always does things he wants and never actually listens to other people's opinion.

My hands are cold, I'm starting to lose the feeling of them.

\----

"How have you been?" He asks.

"Um.. great. You?"

"I'm great, too. I'm currently a resident in Taeyang's dad's hospital. How about you?"

"I'm at the same uni with Taeyang, as you may know already, I guess. I'm taking financial management."

"I know.. I mean, that's great!"

"So, you did pursue your dream in Seoul. Congrats!" I add, with a small smile evident on my face, as the result of me trying so hard to pull myself together while expressing my sincere appreciation for him.

"Thanks, I'm still in the process." He grins to me so big that his eyes squint, before scratching the back of his head. "However, actually, I moved to a university overseas... after we met up."

I flinch.

\----

We're sipping to our drinks as if waiting for one of us to start talking, which is true, but in a more precise interpretation, he's waiting for me to talk, meanwhile me, silent because I'm scared.

Pressing my eyes, gathering all the courage I have left, I tell him, "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"Listen, I-" I pause by myself, I can't seem to form a sentence.

"It's alright, take it easy." He smiles.

"It's probably shocking to you that I suddenly showed up in front of your place like this. I should be the one saying sorry to you."

_What's your heart made of? You're so.. unbelievable._

"No, it's fine. I'll... text you."


	30. Chapter 30

I've been waiting for Taeyang to show up.

"Scumbag."

"You're finally talking to me?"

"Why the fuck," I sigh. "Did you give my address to him? And why did you spill the thing between us?"

His lips part, about to say something but he can't seem to form a sentence. He's seemingly annoyed to me, or himself, that he presses his eyes so hard, his face is twitching.

"I'm sorry. I was trying to help you." He blurts.

"You hate me, do you? It's alright, I don't mind, for fuck sake, but don't put me into something I clearly, always tried to avoid, and you even saw me doing that a few times."

"Listen, I'm really sorry for everything. I feel bad that-"

"You seem to love guilt-tripping yourself over _shits_ so much, is it your personality? Even to the person who's been using you this whole time. Oh, I forgot, you actually like her."

"I don't."

"And, you always lied about it. Is it so hard to just be honest to yourself for at least, once?"

_Youngbin_ _taught you that phrase.._

  
"Thank you for always not caring about my opinion."

I leave him to the class.

\----

"Were you fighting with Taeyang?"

"What happened with you and Taeyang?"

"Is he single yet?"

"Is he available?"

I stand up from my seat, slamming my table, _not too harshly_. "Can yall fucking shut up????" I take a deep breath calming myself. "I mean, just, ask that to him yourself." I go back to sit as I see the lecturer entering the class.

Sighing to myself, I'm venting the annoyance I've been feeling since this morning—or yesterday and days before yesterday.

Then after class,

I see him standing right before the main campus gate. There's no other gate I can walk into unless this one if I'm planning to take a bus. _Shit_. There's another gate far from here that'll require me walking for at least 2 kilos just to reach the bus stop. I can take that.

Before I actually manage to leave the main gate, he chases me, blocking my way by standing right in front of me.

"What?"

"Can you please help me?"

I roll my eyes. "What is it?"

"My cousin just texted me saying she'll surprise me in front of my car after class, which is now... I don't want to imagine what it is knowing that the news of us breaking up is already around."

"Jeez."

I want to leave so badly but part of me feels guilty on this. I did act weird towards the unending questions about him being single, as if I agreed to them. I shouldn't let other people torture him just because of my problem with him.

So, I accept his request.


	31. Chapter 31

The scene begins.

He said I should just follow the script, which never existed in the first place, as usual.

\----

"Listen, I'm really sorry for giving him your address. I thought you wanted to see him."

"Um.."

Is he for real?

He's looking at me straight in the eyes, so serious that I'm shivering a little. _He's not gonna kiss me, right, I fear that in my life recently._

"He said you called him on 4 in the morning, but didn't say a thing. How could I not assume that you really missed him?"

His eyes wander around not knowing where to land that I gasp, internally without opening my mouth—it's possible. I'm honestly startled because of his words. He seems to be telling the truth and is trying to dig the truth.

My lips have gotten dry that I wet them.

"I called him, because I wanted to test out what he said to me when we broke up. He kinda said... he'd never change his number." I pause as he's searching my eyes, looking at my left and right eye in turns as if he's studying them.

Remember, this is only an _act_.

Don't get too emotional. It's scripted although only in our minds and happens to consist of some truth—or all truths. Still, doesn't change the fact that this is an act.

  
"This is confusing but, me and him broke up in a weird way that it still haunts me even today. I'm scared he hates me and wants me to get swallowed by this planet. Then suddenly I met him in your mom's party, after years, and you know that. He seemed fine, thus I was curious."

"I did it on 4 AM, because I just got home in that hour. I couldn't have my me-time in that period except after work. You know why."

I pull him into a hug then immediately pull away, to tell him, "I've forgiven you, but please discuss it with me first before doing anything about this. Sorry if I'm being selfish-" I'm halted by my own eyes, landed on his collar that's pressed during our hug and is currently opened by like an inch.

There's a small dark bruise like... a _hickey_.

\----

His cousin's lips part like she's gasping, she looks disappointed like a puppy that's just separated from its mom—never had a puppy but I saw that on the internet.

"Did you two just get back together?" She blurts.

"What do you think?" He smirks a he lingers his hand around my shoulders. My mind is blank, fogged at the fact that the bruise exists.

So I wasn't dreaming.


	32. Chapter 32

"Thank you for agreeing to leave with me. You want to go home now?" He gently asks.

I still am unable to process the sight I just saw earlier.

"Were you telling the truth?"

"Have you really forgiven me?"

"Y/n?"

"Ah yes, sorry. Yes."

"What's up?" He really stops his car on the edge of the street then says it again to me. "Listen, I was being sincere when I said I'm sorry to you." He's looking at me but I'm not, I can't.

Being the scumbag that he is, he suddenly leans closer, tilting his head to look at me in the eyes, making me have to gulp. "I'm gonna say that again. I'm really sorry for what I did and said to you these days." He blurts.

Your features are beautiful, stop doing this to me. I press my eyes trying to protect myself from the _danger_ that God's put right in front of me.

He scoots his face away.

"I know, I was a scumbag, just like what you always said. I still am. If I were you I'd also not forgive myself." He strokes the upper part of his hair, flipping his bangs backwards and it quickly goes back to the front. _Fluffy as always._

It's not hard to understand why a sea of girls would do anything just to see this view for some more minutes. _I would, too._

_No._

"Stay still." I lean closer, about to confirm what I saw one more time. He flinches when my finger pokes his collar, opening a little bit of his skin.

"Why didn't you tell me that _this_ really happened?" I place my thumb right below the bruise, slightly rubbing. It's moving by itself.

"You.. didn't ask."

"I did."

"You asked, if we did something weird." He parts his lips then gently brushes them against my lips. Butterflies in my stomach are awakened, wild, as if they want to build a community there. "It was weird." I murmur.

He pulls me into another kiss giving chills to my body. _Dang it_. "It wasn't." He whispers as he pulls away regulating his breath. I slowly open my eyes staring right into his eyes. "I thought you hate me."

  
"I never said I did. You said it yourself." He chuckles.

"Jeez."

He presses his forehead on me, murmuring, "I'm gonna say it again. I like you."

My hands skim his cheeks, leaning in to have a taste of his lips again. "A lot." He adds.

Maybe not just one.

Chasing each other's breath, I tell him, "I like.. you, too." He smiles in the middle of our kiss, slowly trails my jaw and my neck with his lips. His breath is getting short but he doesn't seem to know how to stop. He sighs.

My hands weaken at the sound he makes that they slowly fall on my lap. Completely given up to him.

Suddenly, my phone vibrates.

\----

Biting my bottom lip, trying to hold the urge to make weird sounds in, I take my phone. _He's_ calling me.

"Don't." Taeyang murmurs.

"What will I get?"

He smirks as he nuzzles the crook of my neck, grazes it with his lips, stays at a certain spot then begins to suck it. _I hate him._ Sighing, I push his shoulders.

"Scumbag." I grumble.


	33. Chapter 33

The scar is placed just an inch below my jaw. It's so fucking visible. I can't wear turtlenecks. Not only that I don't have any but also it makes me think of astronauts.

Once a scumbag, always a scumbag.

"Why are you still not talking to me? It's been hours already."

It's not that I've been purposely ignoring him. I was busy yesterday, both physically and mentally, meanwhile this morning, we had different classes.

My nose crinkles up in disgust as I roll my eyes, grumbling, "I was bullied everywhere, in workplace, in police department-"

"Police department?"

I flinch.

"Did you rob someone? Sell their assets? Poison them??"

====

"Good morning, may I help you?"

"Good morning, is it possible for me to see the footage of a surveillance camera?"

"Do you have any letter of command from your institution?"

"No."

"Then, I'm sorry I can't help you."

"Are you sick, Miss? Perhaps allergies? Go straight from here, turn left, and the clinic will be on your right."

"Huh? No."

"There's something on your neck."

====

"Suing you for plagiarism."

"Why is it so hard to say that you had some good kisses with a really amazing boyfriend?"

Twitching my face, I throw it back at him, "You can say that to other people??" I roll my eyes, murmuring, "I had to make things up saying I had allergies. Meanwhile at home, for fuck sake, never mind."

"Please, it's easy." He smirks as he takes off his jacket leaving only a plain tshirt on and it's apparently, wide vneck.

"Don't you dare walk with me."

I run off way ahead of him leaving the campus by myself.

\----

_I still can't think of us as legit boyfriend and girlfriend probably because in my interpretation he hasn't actually asked me out, or because I feel like something is still distancing us from each other._

_Besides, it's just too fast_.

\----

"Y/n? What's up?"

"Hi, can I.. can I ask you a favor?"

"Sure! What is it?"

"I have this friend that... he needs... never mind. Sorry for bothering you but do you have some time to meet me today?"

"Um, actually it's my break time now, but I can't leave yet. How about tomorrow? I'll pick you up-"

"No, I'll go to your place myself. Where are you?"

"Uh, alright, it's the Yoo Hospital. I'll text you the location."

"No need, I know where it is. Thanks a lot!"

"Cool, just call me or anything if you've arrived!"


	34. Chapter 34

As the bus started approaching the bus stop near the hospital, I pressed the bell, getting ready to get off, however, 

“OW!!!!!!” 

A certain bitch placed their stupid foot way outside their own seat that I fell on the fucking floor. My head bumped onto something hard, might be another seat, all I knew was that I couldn’t see things properly. My vision had fogged. 

“Sorry, sorry!” A woman's voice said to me while supporting my body to stand and walk out of the bus. 

“Where are you heading to, Miss?” 

“Hospital nearby, Yoo Hospital.” 

“Alright, I'll drop you there.” She said. 

I was stupid that I believed her in the first place. 

She offered me a ride—no, actually she forced me. She led me to get into a certain car, which belonged to her friend, she said, although I already repeated several times that I didn’t need it for the hospital was only like 10 steps away. But too bad, I wasn’t in the condition to reject anyone or anything. 

\---- 

They brought me into a room, possibly their house, or a warehouse, I don’t care but it’s clearly not the hospital. I was tied then dropped on the floor right in the corner of the room—I'm a little thankful for I can rest my hurting head on the wall. 

“I know yall don’t aim for something good, also props to your plan, it’s so clean, but I just want to give you a disclaimer that I'm sure, you’re taking the wrong person.” 

Instead of getting a response, someone threw a hard something to my head. It’s a new someone with long hair. According to my brains, there were only two people, the bitch, a woman, and her friend, a man, but one of them has doubled apparently, that I see three blurry bitches now. 

My head is hurting so much. 

“Who the fuck are you?” 

“Why are you filming me?” 

The long-haired bitch has been pointing her phone to me this whole time. 

“Are you calling someone?” 

“Why am I the only person talking here??” 

I begin to speak so fast to seize every opportunity possible for my life, “Anyone please call the police I'm in a certain room with three bitches, probably 10 to 15 mins drive from Yoo Hospital-“ I haven’t finished when she puts the phone away, stopping the recording or the call. 

“You don’t even have manners. Why does he like you?” She grumbles. This is hilarious for some reason. It's so simple. I feel like I'm getting the grasp of what’s happening already.

I'm being held hostage by one of the Yoo Taeyang fangirls—there’s no other possibilities since I've never had any significant enemy before them, or Youngbin, I think, if he ever had a grudge on me. 

“So you’re calling Taeyang.” I snicker.


	35. Chapter 35

“Better. Your grandma.”

My eyes widen to a maximum size. “ _Fuck_? NO!!!” I yell. Grandma shouldn’t receive this much of shock. Sweats have begun rolling on my face. I need to get out of here but I can’t think of shits. “Let me out!” 

“I will, but you have to stop your detective routines.” 

“Ah.. so you’re her.” 

“SHUT UP!!! I haven’t finished yet!” She takes a deep breath then adds, “If Taeyang knows anything about this, I'll do worse. You've seen-“ 

“Are you done? If something happens to my grandma I can also do worse. _Fucking retarded bitches_.” She has no idea that scumbag won’t ever buy my words about her, anyway. “Now untie me already!!!” I groan. 

“So you have agreed. I'll hold your promise.” She finally starts untying my hands, then walks to the door, fuming my already burning self. “Bitch, you’re leaving me?” I yell. “Fuck you! Just why do you need his money so much?” I let out a sigh, annoyed at this girl and her bitches, while trying to scoot nearer to my bag. 

Everything on me hurts every time I manage to move, perhaps, it’s not just my head that’s hurting. “There are… plenty of ways to get money without scamming anyone.” I mutter. 

“You have no idea how it feels to be me!!! You know how much I earn from these thrashes? Nothing!” She takes a few of those—her paintings—and suddenly throws them to me, causing me to fall on the floor, hitting another hard thing. I feel so fucking painful on my right hand.

"You'll soon feel what I feel. Wait for it." She mutters.

I need to stop mumbling nonsense or she'll continue throwing things to my precious body. 

\----

With all the energy I have left, I take my phone out of my bag, with my hand that's not hurting. But suddenly the already blurry sight I'm seeing starts to move around like there's an earthquake happening. My hand weakens and it drops the phone on the floor.

"Shit."

It rings.

Whoever it is, I'm thankful for them and gonna ask them for help. I scoot nearer to it and tries to press the green button on the screen.

"Hello? Y/n?" It's Youngbin.

"H-hey... sorry." I murmur, I can't speak properly because I'm extremely tired feeling the pain all over my body.

"Are you okay?"

"Can you... help... me? My grandma is in my house she's.." Something liquidy runs from my head to the side of my cheek then my jaw. "Something might've happened to her."

"Where are you? Are you hissing?"

"About that.."


	36. Chapter 36

I see ceilings—hospital ceilings—as I open my eyes. I feel a huge relief that I'm out of that cursed place, also I could notice that it’s ceilings, which means that my eyesight might’ve gotten better. 

Someone is sleeping beside me, sitting on a chair but his head is on his arms, folded on the edge of my bed. He's in a white, long, doctor jacket. 

Is this for real? 

My hand walks to him, probably to check if he’s legit, but I can’t. I'm wearing some heavy cast and it’s tied to my body. 

“Hey.” He raises his head, rubbing his eyes with his fingers. “Sorry, I fell asleep. How are you feeling?” A soft smile is formed on his face as he's looking at me. 

“Good, I guess… by the way, I should be the one saying sorry to you.” 

“Listen, if you’re good already and not just _good I guess_ , tell me, okay? The police wants to ask you some things.” 

“Wow, you’re fast.” His eyebrows raise a bit, shocked at the sudden statement from me but realizing it’s actually a compliment, he chuckles. “I'm flattered.” 

“Wait, Grandma, she’s still in-“ 

“She’s fine and currently resting, next to this room.” 

“I have to see her.” 

“No, you can’t. As your doctor I prohibit you from leaving this bed unless for bathroom businesses.” 

“Jeez.” 

“How did you bring her here?” 

\---- 

Someone opens the door of my room, harshly. My eyes squint at the sudden appearance of that someone. I really don’t want to see him after what happened, although, she said nothing about me having to stop meeting him. 

How I wish she said something about it. 

“Dumbhead!” 

I let out a sigh. 

“What the fuck did you do?” 

“Who told you I'm here?” I groan. 

“Actually,” Youngbin blurts while scratching the back of his head, looking uneasy—most likely can relate about how annoying scumbag is and how it’s better if he didn’t know about all this. “He called plenty of times on your phone, so I took one and told him you’re admitted here.” 

“Did you fight?” Taeyang asks. 

“Similar to that.” 

“What???” 

“If I told you that, Kim Sohyun did this to me, will you believe me?” 

“Jeez, I told you to stop digging shits about her. Seriously.” 

His words hit me like a nail hammer—not huge but painful already. He's here, seemingly cares about me but I don’t feel he's actually _here_. “I know you'll never buy my words.” I snicker. “I met someone in the bus and they suddenly kidnapped me.” 

“Just that? You love removing the important details.” 

“As if you don’t.” I roll my eyes, murmuring, “Stop using cuss words. Stop trying to sound like me.” 

“Come on, what happened?” 

Restlessness floods me, but he deserves to know what happened, also Youngbin. “I was on my way to this hospital, to meet Youngbin, but bitches suddenly made me trip in the bus, tricked me into going to their place, tied me, tortured me, sent the footage to grandma, then tortured me again. Those were the details.” I take a deep breath feeling a small but significant relief for I haven’t lied, at all. 

“What?” 

“Can’t you say something beside what? For fuck sake. Doc, is there any rule to get him out here? If there’s not then please make one.” Youngbin looks so dumbfounded, completely lost, as if he’s just witnessed cats mating with lizards which is quite impossible— _ah_ , right, I never actually swore back in the days when we’re together. 

\----

_I concealed a lot of things from him, myself, that I began to feel suffocated in the end._

_My first love experience sucks big time because of me._


	37. Chapter 37

"Are you sure you're ok for class?" Taeyang asks.

"Hm."

I find it hard to believe that I miss the feeling of being in class, faking stuff to cover myself binge-watching episodes and/or coming late, and the list goes on.

People in the hospital warned me that I shouldn't leave until at least next week or next 2 weeks, I forgot, all I remembered was that I had to sign a form stated that I would not sue them if anything happens to me.

My bank account was being put at risk. Having to pay for both grandma's and my hospital bills, and basically our lives for days ahead as I couldn't do shifts with the current me. Not to mention, I couldn't forget what his mom and the sadistic girl said to me. Never.

\----

"Are you ok?"

"Hm."

"What does hm mean?"

"It means stop talking to me."

"What?"

_I feel completely restless about our "thing". It's like a_ _déjà_ _vu but worse. Why would anyone be in a relationship that has a big heavy pretty-much-unbreakable barrier between the two parties? It's suffocating._

_I really want to tell him everything as I believe I've changed-the stupid high school me is long gone. But he doesn't want to hear even a word from me._

_He always aims for the stupid talk only and not the real one. So what's the point?_

We may be not talking to each other, but I have no choice other than following him anywhere he wants. I only have one hand on duty and it's the left one when I'm right-handed, and thanks to my head, I don't feel like I'm actually standing on earth. It's scary.

He supports me to get into his car, helps me wear the seat belt, constantly checks my face if I show any sign of pain, making my heart softened a little. For a brief while, I'm forgetting that he's a scumbag.

"Promise me not to say a thing about this. I don't accept any word from you." He slips a fat envelope into my bag. Everything fogs.

"Fuck? I don't need this." I take a sharp breath, trying to resist the urge of breaking down as my eyes have grown hot. Not this time.

"I said I don't accept any word from you."

"Fine, but you'll see this in your bank account tonight."

Furrowing his face, he grumbles, "Why is it so hard for you-" He strokes his bangs, slightly pulling it in annoyance. "Listen, you're not supposed to be working, right, so please, let me help you."

"I'll find a way."

"You paid the hospital bills yourself already. Remember our deal?"

"I'd rather die than turn into what your mom and that hospital girl think of me." I murmur.

"You need to stop doing this, unless, you think it's better if we stop seeing each other from now on."

His lips part, he flinches.

\----

_"It's fascinating how it's so easy for you to ask for a break up. It's not only you that's hurting. Have you ever considered my feelings?"_

_"I know your heart doesn't want this, but congratulations, you just got it. I'll stop bothering you. See you on the day when you choose to be honest with your own heart._


	38. Chapter 38

"I heard you and your grandma got into an accident? Why didn't you tell me earlier?" One of my bosses scolded me on the phone.

"Give me your bank account number."

"Why is that?"

"Just give it to me."

"Uh..."

"Quick!"

"Alright, texted the number to you already."

I shivered, afraid I just spilled some private information to other people and it could harm me in the future—my logic is always morbid, and stupid.

"It's not much but I hope it'll help you and your grandma. Use it wisely, ok? I'm not accepting the money back, or else, you're not welcome to work in my shop anymore."

_Familiar_.

In a blink, my phone beeped for a text about a certain amount of money that's just transferred to my account, and it's not small. It could feed me, Grandma, and Taeyang for at least a month, if we ate expensive meats everyday.

"Boss,"

"Have a good day!"

\----

"Hey," Youngbin greeted me as I opened the door of my house. "Your physician is here, for your daily visitation." He kinda sang that.

The corners of my lips twitched upwards, forming a smile. "This thing exists?" I chuckled. "Come in." In that brief second I realized that the restlessness I developed from being with scumbag was quite beneficial. I was too tired that I didn't feel ridiculously too scared as I used to.

I led him to sit on my couch and he immediately began to remove the bandages on my head, my hand, everywhere, gently.

====

"What's your dream?"

"I haven't thought about it yet. You?"

"I want to help others, as a doctor. It's always been my family's dream, and I think it's such a blessing that my dream and theirs are aligned."

"Ooh, Mr. Doctor."

"Please."

"You'll make a good doctor."

====

"Your sutures are still far from being healed yet, especially the one on your head. You need to limit your activities, rest more, alright?" He sighed.

"I know you want to go to your classes, but please rest afterwards, otherwise you may have to risk your chance of going to any of those classes at all in the near future."

"I get it, Mr. Doctor."

He flinched a second, before letting out a soft chuckle.

"How much is this?"

"You can't pay me."

"Try me."

"I'm not fully licensed yet, I'm still learning. Actually, treating you is like another kind of training for me."

"Alright, but you can't refuse dinner, right, Mr. Doctor? My grandma is a great cook and she's pretty stubborn."

"Taeyang!!!" Grandma yelled, as Taeyang the cat ran to me, suddenly climbed up to sit on my lap. Youngbin's already up, tilting his head to the window. He probably thought someone's coming. "Taeyang is this cat not Yoo Taeyang." I chuckled.

"I met the cat first before-" Thinking that explaining this was unnecessary, I cut myself, "Anyways, let's eat!"


	39. Chapter 39

Day by day was passed, he came almost everyday, depending on when he's free, but we never actually had a serious talk—same goes with Taeyang although the case is different. The promise I made the other day, saying I'll text him still haunts me even today. Sometimes I think it only bothers me, but sometimes the complete opposite, because he probably won't come so often if it doesn't bother him too.

Just as he's about to reach his car leaving me and my house, I slightly yell, "Youngbin, can we talk?"

"Huh?" He tilts his head, grinning with both his lips and his eyes. "Not Mr. Doctor?" He chuckles. "We're already talking."

"No, I mean, like, real talk.." Pressing my eyes, I stop myself, I can't seem to put this into words.

"Sure, here or you want to-"

"Do you hate me?"

He furrows his eyebrows, feeling alarmed, he quickly lingers his arm around my shoulders. "I'll take you to the hospital."

"No, listen." I take a deep breath as anxiety starts to overwhelm me, making my chest feel heavy, and it'll stay this way if I stop for the nth time already.

The memory of me being a selfish bitch replays in my head, briefly, but it's still very clear to me.

"It still haunts me. The thought of you hating me because I was a bitch. No, actually, you're free to hate me. I'm sorry I was childish that I didn't consider your feelings. I didn't know what to do with my life. I-" I pause. "I just want to say that I'm sorry."

"Listen," He grabs my shoulders with both of his palms and squeezes them, slightly. "I don't hate you. Never. I can't hate you."

"At some point, I was hurt. I was mad. But then everything changed as I saw it myself. I found out that you lost your parents, but I was late. I realized I deserved the break up. I was too absorbed with my life that I didn't know you're suffering."

Twitching my entire face I blurt, "No, it's all my fault!" How did he twist everything as if he's wrong? Or were we both, wrong?

"I never regretted every moment I had with you, including the break up. Because I grew from them." He pulled me into a hug, gently, as I'm still a bandaged bitch. "You were my youth. I loved you and... I still do." He mutters. I slowly push him away, breaking the hug, and look at him in his eyes, "Youngbin," My heart feels warm as one thing weighing me down for years is finally gone, bringing tears of happiness in my eyes. "Thank you for not hating me even though you have the right for that. It means a lot to me."

"Thank you for coming into my life. I hope you to know that I learned a lot from you. You're an amazing person." One of his hands suddenly skims my cheek pulling me closer to his face, raising my heartbeat rapidly, not because of butterflies but for some reason, I'm terrified.

Trying to decipher what I'm feeling, I halt him from going even further, "Youngbin," I murmur. "Actually, me and.. Taeyang!!" I yell as just in time, I see him standing somewhere near Youngbin's car. The universe seems to hate me.

"Sorry, I was.. about to leave." He says. He's smiling but tears have started flooding his eyes. Slightly tilting his head upwards, he takes a sharp breath as he gulps, "Just, continue your thing, see you tomorrow."


	40. Chapter 40

"Taeyang!" I yell his name, but he still continues walking to his car and even opens the door, upsets the already panicked me that I yell even louder, " _Fucking_ _scumbag_!!" He finally closes it and turns to me. Not a word comes from him. He's seemingly distracted, or trying to distract himself by darting his eyes around the sky.

"Are you willing to hear me or not?" I regret saying that recalling that I'm the bitch here. It's just, these days, I always got ridiculously frustrated every time we met.

"You're finally talking when it's about him." His eyes drift to my level as a tear falls on his cheek. He bites his bottom lip, holding the remaining in his eyes.

"I'm sorry," My lips part but I can't seem to form the sentence. Restlessness has come back and it feels weird—more like, guilt.

"It's.. alright. It's hard for me but I'll try to accept it."

"No, it's not like what you think it is. We didn't-"

"Do I look pathetic to you that you can't stop doing this???"

Both my eyebrows furrow, completely lost with what he just stated, or asked.

"Stop lying to yourself!! I know I've been holding you back. I thought, you're not talking to me because of your accident but that's not it, right, I'm sorry, I was stupid."

What does he mean by that?

====

_"I know your heart doesn't want this, but congratulations, you just got it. I'll stop bothering you. See you on the day when you choose to be honest with your own heart."_

_"You need to stop doing this, unless, you think it's better if we stop seeing each other from now on."_

====

"Alright, I admit!" _I'm always the one, stupid._ "But you're also wrong because it's not because of him either."

His lips part like he's gasping, he's startled but there's finally a touch of hope in his eyes, and it seems desperate.

"Then what is it?"

"I," I bite my lip, I realize I need some time to mull over how I'm supposed to tell him the thing. My mind suddenly fogs. It'd been a long time that he never let me do this. "I'm sorry, I can't." My words upset me and him but I can't think of what to do about it. My brains freeze. Why does this type of coping mechanism exist?

His lips subtly tremble, eyes pressing shut, he seems like he wants to scream but he's just way too hurt that he ends up murmuring, "I was wrong, again. Even this time you're still not talking to me." Tears begin to fill his eyes, suffocate my chest every time they reflect the light.

It's hurting me.


	41. Chapter 41

"Beep... beep.."

Taeyang's number popped up on her phone screen at approximately 4 AM.

"Hello?"

"...."

"Hello??"

"...."

She rolled he eyes, nose crinkled up in disgust as she was supposed to be sleeping soundly for at least 3 more hours, and this clearly didn't feel like some coincidental deja vu. She's convinced that he's trying to mock her—there's no other explanations.

_How dare him thinking he's allowed to pull this kind of bs in this hour?_

"I'm hanging up."

"Am.. I.. boring to you?" He's talking really slowly like he's sleep talking or, drunk.

It finally hit her that she was, in fact, the bitch. She thought she deserved all the bs scumbag could ever come up with, if that would make him feel better. She felt weird and couldn't tell what it was. At some point she felt guilty, but at the same time she realized she cared about him, a lot, and found it hard to completely ignore him.

"Where are you?"

"Stay there. I'll pick you up."

Not a second after she hung up, she slammed her forehead with her own palm, grumbling, "I forgot about beware of theft, horny girls, boys, aunts, grandpas.. everything is possible these days."

\----

Letting out a deep sigh, she felt relief that he's there, just a few steps in front of her eyes. He's resting his head on the table, possibly sleeping, and no one seemed to plan to _bother_ him. There's no customer around but waitresses and waiters standing on their respective places.

Her eyes widened at the possibility that it was his personal bar or something, but she quickly shook her head, brushing the thought off as it's fucking irrelevant. She should stop being random and stick to the plan—to bring him home safe and sound.

But as she sat beside him, her hand was about to linger around his shoulders, she stopped. She poked him instead.

"Hey? Are you sleeping?"

He turned to her, much to her surprise, with a pair of hazy eyes sometimes closed sometimes open without saying a thing.

She immediately collected his ridiculously expensive wallet and phone on the table, then eyed his pants, about to put them in his pocket but she halted herself, as she gulped. She put them in her bag instead.

"Can you walk? It's not that I don't want to help you, but, you're like at least 1.5 size bigger than me." Nothing came from his mouth that suddenly the possibility of him being sick bothered her mind.

"When did you arrive here?" She asked him as she began to skim his face with her palm, starting from his forehead, cheek, then neck, and nothing felt weird. He's fine, she thought.

\----

She supported him all the way to his parked car, letting his arm linger around her shoulders as he walked. He's luckily sober enough to walk on his feet, although slowly, and not weighing her too much. As she led him to the door of the front passenger seat, she twitched her face.

"Give me the key."

Still, she's talking by herself. She groaned, annoyed at the thought of touching him, or scared, but she still let her palm skim across his pants' front pockets, left then right, and it's not there.

"Seriously."

She moved to his back pocket then finally found the thing.

"Jeez, what kind of person would put their key on their back pocket? What if it fell? Someone else took it then stole the car??" She grumbled while helping him lay on the seat then walked to the driver's seat.

"That won't bother you at all, but someone could've sabotaged your car so you can't go home safely."

"What have I gotten myself into? We're dying?" She kept uttering nonsense, that even she, shivered herself.


	42. Chapter 42

Her energy seemed to have been nearly emptied when she helped him leave the bar. But sadly, her mission hadn't ended yet. She panted so hard, sweats rolling down her face, while she's supporting him to walk to his apartment.

"What are you doing? Input your password!"

"For God's sake, alright, I'll do it."

She pressed all zeros thinking that someone crazily rich and literally crazy in terms of not caring about his car being stolen wouldn't bother making complicated password, but the door was still locked.

"Alright, you're not stupid. Is it your birthdate?" She input his birthdate. "Please, why are you so-" The door was still locked.

"Jesus Christ, tell me the fucking password!" She groaned.

"Try your birthdate, backwards."

Her eyes widened, she's startled, possibly at the word _your birthdate_ , or backwards, or the fact that he finally blurted something. But she suddenly squinted as hundreds of nonsensical-but-possible scenarios popped into her mind.

"This won't explode after 3 failed attempts or something, right?"

"You know, ATM machine blocks your card after 3 failed attempts."

"There's no fucking card here. What will this do?"

"Have you actually tried it before?"

She's again talking to herself. She sighed, but still pressed the buttons according to her birthdate, hesitantly, her face was slightly pulled backwards. She closed her eyes afraid something would blow up, but thankfully, the door lock just opened and nothing emitted things.

\----

She dropped him on his couch, carefully, as there weren't only one room there. She needed to think which room to put him into but she couldn't carry the weight on her shoulders while thinking.

Randomly throwing her bag on the floor, she started doing subtle stretching, giving herself a boost to go home. "Since you're home already, alive and breathing, I'm going." She muttered.

As if not wanting her to leave yet, he grabbed her wrist. The grip was quite dense that she sighed. "You're welcome." She told him. He didn't know how she wanted to say that she's too tired to hear some long passages about how thankful he was so please postpone the _shit_.

It turned out, he intended to pull another shit. He pulled her to sit on his lap, slowly lingered both his arms around her waist from behind. He gently rested his chin on her shoulder, slightly nuzzling her neck with his cheek. He's basically hugging her.

"You... seem to miss your pillow so much?" She gently brushed his grip off, pushing his face backwards and quickly stood up. "I'll help you walk to your room, alright, where is it?"

"Never mind, I'll check all of them."


	43. Chapter 43

While she's helping him lay on the bed, he grabbed her wrist. "Come on, what is it?" She grumbled. She's tired, but immediately softened as he looked at her with his hazy eyes that sparkled when the light reflected the dark parts along with small tears on the corners. She sat on the edge of his bed, caressing his head, assuming he's having a nightmare with opened eyes or something.

"Don't leave me." He talked really softly but his words echoed in her mind striking like a sword stabbed multiple times into her heart. She realized that all she did these days was pulling a break up card, every time things didn't go in _her_ way—and that thought made her want to distance herself from him even more.

She stood up, but his grab on her wrist tightened. "Stay... please." He murmured, raising her heart rate rapidly. "I.. I haven't told grandma that I left the house to pick you up." She wet her lips, they'd gotten dry as she's having an internal debate with herself about whether to stay or to leave.

"I'll help you take off your socks." Her unconscious seemed to be trying to buy time—it wanted her to stay with him. "Don't leave me." He begged. Twitching her face a brief second, she finally gave in. "Alright, I'll stay for a while."

He scooted to the side, leaving a space for her to lay next to him, and as she went there, he slowly lingered his arm on her back, pulling her into a hug where he put her head below his chin, feeling her breathing softly against his bare skin.

The weird feeling she had started to fog, replaced by a really nice, calming one as if she belonged in his embrace. Her heart was still beating fast but it's comfortable. A smile was evident on her lips, stunned by his warmth. She found herself closing her eyes, slightly moved closer, her lips were practically touching his chest.

They stayed that way, feeling each other's presence until he finally broke the silence. He placed a soft kiss on her forehead and looked into her eyes. "I.. wish... I was him." He whispered. Her eyebrows furrowed, she flinched, part of her disagreed but what he said was just too unexpected. She needed some time to process it. Her lips parted, unable to form a sentence when in a blink, he slammed his lips against her lips, brushing them gently.

Perhaps it's his warmth or the late hour, she's immediately lost in the sensation jolting all over her body while his hand walked to her jaw, cupping her to give him a better, more comfortable access. Letting her fingers skim across his neck, she's already kissing him back.

Feeling something wet on her cheek but it's not her, she opened her eyes, only to realize that it's coming from him. She grabbed his hand off of her face, slowly pulled away. "This isn't right." She murmured. He bit the insides of his cheek as his eyes met her. His gaze was sad but hazy at the same time, like a toddler being separated from his mom or toys, while he's sleeping. _And by the way, he's crying._

Her thumb gently wiped the tears from both of his eyes, starting from the right then the left one. She rested her palm on the side of his head, caressing him, hoping to ease his pain by a little. His eyes slowly fluttered shut, he's calmed, he's falling asleep.


	44. Chapter 44

Seeing how peaceful he looked when he's sleeping, her fingers ran through his fluffy bangs brushing them to the back, as she smiled. If only things weren't this confusing, they wouldn't have been in this state—she thought.

"Our worlds are different and it's.. scary. I'm scared of hurting you and Grandma, and getting hurt if I keep pushing _us_."

"I care about you, a lot. You're important to me. Seeing you hurting hurts me, but at the same time, I can't help but hurt you if we're together."

The memories of him not wanting to, even try hearing what she's going to say about the sadistic girl, and her ignoring him after he applied the same parameter with, again, the sadistic girl, to her, popped into her mind.

"I hope you know that I never want you to be someone else other than Yoo Taeyang, the _scumbag_ I always wish to be swallowed by this planet because of how annoying he is,"

She remembered how she hated him so much, but she's also touched in between those times as he showed his care for her, and others.

"Also to be cherished by everyone because of how warm his heart is."

He scolded her in the hospital, forced her not to overwork herself, saying she's not welcome there anymore, and even tried to set her up with her ex. His way was often weird to the point that it's unacceptable, but she knew he had the heart.

"Sometimes, I think you're too kind that people love taking it for granted. They're slaving you. The sea of girls, the sadistic fake hospital retarded bitch.." She sighed.

"Just why is it so hard for you to believe that.. you're not guilty? And that there's actually hope?"

"When I said she caused my accident and Grandma's, I wasn't joking. She threatened me if I let you know about it. Guess why she did all that? Only because I'd started digging shits about her. It raised the possibility that something's definitely wrong with the case. Police said she's been sitting for 3 mins on the street prior to the accident. That's already super weird, but I wish, you're willing to open your mind for that. Please, hold onto this hope, no matter how small it is."

"Money is nothing to you, I know. But I also know that you deserve a life without the burden of causing someone go on comma or shit. It must've been weighing you down.. and it's coming between us."

\----

"When you asked me if I wanted you to buy my house, I was hurt, and I thought it was all because of my stupid pride as a poor. But your mom knocked me out of my senses. The day when I decided to refuse your gratitude for your fake girlfriend thing was probably the day I've started to realize that I felt something different about you.

"I thought every time you offered me your money, it only felt like you're thinking I was the same with the sadistic girl and that you're invalidating my feelings, but as the event repeated itself, I realized it's something else."

"It hurt me knowing that you're being used. It might be up to this extent for now but no one knows what they'd ask in the future. You're tied to them, both to your so-called fans and her, and something in me hated seeing that. You're also a human being, a free man, no-one's slave."

"I can't imagine how hurtful it's been to you, yourself."

\----

"Please, stop trusting that girl."

"She threw her fucking paintings to my head while I was tied," The horrible scene replayed in her head, hurting her. Maybe it's the sleep debt she just created by coming here or the fact that she's laying with him, she started pitying herself. A tear fell from the side of her eye.

"And that's just one thing." She let a few more tears fall on the bed, as she took a sharp breath and lingered her hand around his figure.

_A tear rolled down his eyes while they're closed._


	45. Chapter 45

"So, grandma, what do you think?"

"All A's been doing is always regarded as stupid by B. However, she never has the heart to leave B by himself. Isn't it frustrating? They're like.. my tangled ear buds; always hurting each other yet always together?!" Now that I've mentioned it, I need new earbuds, wireless ones. I sigh. "Should A continue doing the so-called helping B, or not?"

"Of course you should." Says my grandma.

"I know right! I've been thinking the same thing-"

"Wait, no! Not me. Haha." I chuckle awkwardly. Grandma sees through every shit I'm trying to cover up. It's no fun at this point.

"When your friend knows that her friend is falling into some 'hole' and that she's the only person aware of it, _as you said_ ;" I think I get why she knew I was talking about myself. Stupid, me. "Isn't it already her obligation to help him?" She adds.

"But the problem is, B doesn't want and doesn't think he needs any help, at all."

"Do you think you'll feel more at ease seeing him fall, hurt himself in the process, and maybe die?"

"Grandma!! Don't say that!"

"But you get my point." She lets out her small, but very reassuring smile. Even if it'll put you in danger, grandma? "I'm scared that.. A is the crazy one here. What if it's actually not a big deal? What if there's no such thing as 'hole' in the first place?"

"You love him, do you?"

"That's a tough question you have there, grandma. And.. it's not important for now."

"Grandma, your mom, and your dad didn't just raise some girl but a really strong one. Not to mention, she's smart." Right, really smart that it didn't took her long to drown herself in a stupid imaginary contract led into a bunch of more stupid stuff harming nearly, everyone.

"Believe in yourself, do what you think is right, we'll always have your back."

"Now get up and shower."

====

His eyebrows furrowed as he's rubbing his eyes with his palms.

"Wait, why is it [still] on call?" He murmured. He immediately grabbed his phone from the bedsheet and put it in front of his mouth.

"Hyung!! Sorry, seems like, I've slept on it... again."

"I'm home, though. I suppose you knew that already. Sorry again."

"Talk to you later!"

He scratched the back of his head.

====

"I have to be clear about who's in my side, and who's not."


	46. Chapter 46

_**This can't be real.** _

Have I gotten it upside down?

_\----_

Who takes a short internship in the Yoo Hospital, just to continue their detective routine? Definitely not me. I've applied somewhere _nearby_ instead. I'm a business major, what can I expect?

To know when and how scumbag visits the sadistic bitch, is honestly a piece of cake. It has a pattern and shoutout to the family; they never actually come to the hospital during working hours, therefore he'll never catch them in action. _Fucking clean_.

"Y/n..." Youngbin mutters as I unfold the paper covering my burger then take a big bite. We're having lunch together at the hospital's canteen—I insisted, since it's my first day being an intern and I'm a coward. However, ironically, I didn't know this place was quite far from my workplace. _Very far, in fact_. The elevators, the patients I needed to prioritize, and the multiple getting-lost because I never traveled this place before. What was I thinking?

Still munching as fast as I can, I murmur, "What?" I have about 10 mins left only and it takes me exactly 10 mins to go back, If I run. Why didn't I just eat in the company's canteen?—though, I know literally no one there and they're all seniors, and scary. People in office outfits are scary. _I feel like having some kind of, late puberty streak._

"By any chance, do you..." He pauses so long it's annoying, or I'm just too stressed. While pushing myself to enjoy the sandwich in such a short time and huge tensions, I try to respond him with, "Hmm?" At least I've tried, but he still doesn't get to finish his sentence, until my phone finally buzzes because of a reminder I set with an even more annoying title and unnecessary triggering additional tensions.

_My heart._

"FUCKING NEWBIE SHOULDN'T BE LATE!!!$&$+(°€°€_#+!!!?_!_!!*€^¢¶|#"

\----

I haven't entered the company when I happen to spot, him, interacting with the _damned_ family. I wonder, are they related? But it must be the lamest assumption ever coming from me, since his surname is owned by at least half of the population.

Besides, he's not that kind of person.

With that thought in mind I type, "Are you free right now?" And as I hit send, I realize how ridiculous it was since he's literally just spent his free time with me, so I send another thing, "Where are you?"

It's clear from where I'm standing that he takes his phone out of his pocket and immediately starts typing. Something in me feels a relief that he didn't take some time to hesitate. _I worried for nothing._

"I'm with my patients." He says.

Patients? My eyebrows knit into a confused look. There's suddenly a long line of questions in my brain and it starts with; isn't the 'fact' that she's a patient only known by scumbag and the family? But it again, fogs, as I recall that she's once a legit patient.

Taking a final blow by pressing call on his number, I immediately regret it. This can't be real. He knows someone's calling. He must've read who it is. He must've read that it's me. I see him staring at his phone for a brief second before pressing reject. "Patients?" I text him. "Why?" I add, not knowing why I suddenly need to ask why. That feeling of wanting to ask so many questions but you can't, because they suddenly dissolve into one word; why.

"Why?" He says.

"Because," He's taking his time typing another reply, "They're sick?"


End file.
